s'ok.  this isn't my final cut anyway.  i really really wanna get it finished soon, but god must hate me or something   no, i'm just having a hard time getting the right effect that i want it to have.

i've gotta figure it out... *sighs*  i'll repost it once i REALLY finish it.

I am always fascinated by songs with lots of words, the art of squeezing in all those emotions and words in a tune is an art...which you are skilled at, work on it a bit more and you may find that the melodies and words will fall right into place. Good work on this piece.

You have a unique voice. The recording quality isn't great, but hey, I think most of us are working with pretty bad recording equipment. I know I am.

I dig the song & look forward to more.

you all may be suprised in the difference of audio quality in the other take that i made... it's still not finished, but it's closer to the sound that i wanted.  i'm going to underlay another vocal in the chorus, but i'm struggling for the right sound.

anyway, i just wanted to let anybody who cares know that this wasn't the final cut that i was making on this.  here's the url for anybody who is curious:

http://www.myspace.com/newbeginningsmusic

you may wanna just download the song instead of playing it through the player, b/c it cuts the bitrate in the player... hopefully the actual mp3 isn't cut as well

(oh, and try to ignore the slight studder sound on "this is the last time i'll try" on the first verse   it was an mp3 encoding error i think, though it was supposed to sound like that a little bit anyway.)

Good choice to leave it acoustic, and simple. This is kinda like a contemporary Bob Dylan style.

Maybe the last line could go:
But ever since you stabbed me, I've been looking for a reason to forget your face.

Then again, good lyrics cant be identified as easily as skillfull playing, so dont take the above as very serious criticism.

i like the franticness of the verse.  maybe you could have juxtaposed that with a catchier chorus or possibly bridge/middle 8.  just a suggestion.  very good song - like lots.  (i can imagine adam lavigne singing it, much like maroon5s "harder to breathe")

when i listen to your stuff, it reminds me of dashboard confessional...you're good...=)

yay!  more comments.  i was ready to bury the song in the archives of bandamp   not that i'm giving up on it.

i'm going to add more to the chorus, an underlying line to help it stand out more.

there's a part 2 that makes up for the length of this one, though i'm not sure if i'll get to record it.

it has a much more varied tempo throughout the song than this one, like... a second movement.

it'll also show much much bigger range of emotional-ideas as the song progresses.

you sound like a really good singer, and song writter, keep up the good work

Entheon had some great suggestions for you, I have an additional tip for you with regards to drum backing tracks for while you record.

Bundled with Cakewalk Sonar is a MIDI 'effect' plugin called Session Drummer.

All you do is choose it as an 'effect' for a MIDI track, double click it to bring up the control panel, and choose the drum beat you want.

Then, when you record/play, that beat will be played through your MIDI synth while you record - so it basically means you don't need to write the drums yourself before recording, you can do this later to fit with the piece.

Personally, I actually assign this 'effect' to a software synth (VST instruments for Cubase users and DXi Synths for Sonar users) such as Edirol (Roland) HyperCanvas or the identical Cakewalk TT1 bundled with Sonar. There is also nothing to stop you feeding these drums through a MIDI-triggered drum sampler if you have the resources for this. You could even route it externally to a MIDI-capable drum machine I suppose...not sure why you would, though.

I'm not sure if this plugin (or anything similar) is available to non-sonar users, but I seriously suggest you have a look for something like it because its very useful. It basically functions as a MIDI drum machine for multi-track recording.

well..

i use click tracks all the time, but the problem comes when i have such constant tempo changes from section to section.  i admit, the timing isn't always perfect, but my issues come when i'm trying to juggle 2 or 3 sets of timings for different sections of the song.

i appreciate the comments though

I'm not saying there is anything wrong with your rhythm mate My point was that because it is a MIDI plugin you can set up tempo changes using the 'event' manager or whatever of your multi-track recording software, and the plugin will automatically change tempo to accomodate for this.

Thus, you can plan out the structure of your song (in terms of bars), put in the tempo changes where necessary, and you won't need to write different drum tracks for the different tempo changes to help you when you record (as I used to need to when using Fruityloops, for instance).

Anyway mate, best of luck and I look forward to hearing more of your shiat.

Thus, you can plan out the structure of your song (in terms of bars), put in the tempo changes where necessary, and you won't need to write different drum tracks for the different tempo changes to help you when you record

i SOO didn't see this reply until just now, 11 days later :P i can make tempo changes easily enough, i guess my problem comes with following those tempo changes like a nazi.  it's a matter of self-discipline, i know.  thanks for the comments

btw, i'm awful with any midi-style drum editor.  in fact, i'm awful with any sort of drums anyway.  i can improve beat with my hands and my lap, but i can't transcribe that to a program like FL very well.  it gets all muddled up in my head and i can't figure out how to put it together right    that's mainly why there's no drum part.  well, that that the REAL drummer that i want to do this stuff with can't really.. he goes to school across the state and he's ALWAYS over there.  beyond that.. i really don't have a good way to record an actual drum set properly

the guitar work is excellent...i like the sound of the guitar...your vocal job is good, why dont you come to my country to play together?¿?¿... hehe

A well song....the guitar sounds good,and also your vocal,but the chorus is a bit too weak,work hard,you 've done a good job ,at least better than me