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#1July 28th, 2005 · 02:07 PM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
Actually...
*
Score: 65.8%
Rank: 14th
Battle: 2005-08


PLEASE BE SURE TO VOTE AND POST ... and stuff.  (the "and stuff" isn't as important )

The full name of the song is:

Acutally, 'Sorry' Wasn't the First Thing that Came to Mind

this was NOT the first song i started doing, though i liked the feel of it, so i paused everything else to work on it.  hope you all enjoy.  it's short and to the point, which is exactly how i wanted it to be.  lyrics are below.

This is short, sweet, and simple, like the line you drew between us
I need to hurry to get it all in
I can't afford to waste by breath
You know... places to go, people to see
Oh, and I've got to do this... thing...
This is the last time I'll try
Because you keep on going just closing doors
And this is the last time I'll write you:
"I've had enough.  --Forever yours."
Don't know what I was thinking, and I'm tired of breaking

Over and over we did this
We live in second-hand hate
I wish to forgive...
But we weren't on the same team

This summer was a dance floor, dark and hot
Just like you
It was all because of you
Like the last time I tried, I don't buy it
But back when I did
No kidding, I just about died
Look, I just really don't need this
For as much as you do, I'm rather confused
Don't know what I was thinking, I'm just so tired of thinking

Over and over we did this
We live in second-hand hate
I wish to forgive...
But we weren't on the same team

This is short, sweet, and simple, like the line you drew between us
Mmkay, maybe not so sweet
But I've been looking for a reason ever since you stabbed me to forget your face

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#2July 28th, 2005 · 09:46 PM
31 threads / 5 songs
178 posts
Spain
This is a great track - the acoustic guitar has a nice sound and the lyrics are well thought out, and the vocals really match the feel of the track.

Like the song says, this is short, sweet, and simple.
#3July 29th, 2005 · 04:23 AM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
i know that it's not perfect quality on the vocal sound, but you can only do so much with what you've got :P

thanks man
#4July 29th, 2005 · 07:14 AM
117 threads / 88 songs
256 posts
United Kingdom
I've been waiting for you to put a song on here since like...forever! I really like this, I love the lyrics and the guitar.
Its fhab-u-loooz darlink!
#5July 29th, 2005 · 07:41 AM
1 threads / 1 songs
4 posts
Canada
its pretty good..atleast better than what i could do..haha! anyways keep it up
#6July 29th, 2005 · 09:17 AM
1 posts
United States of America
awesome. i like. kinda like listening to you think out loud~ crazy but wheeee!
#7July 29th, 2005 · 12:36 PM
3 threads / 3 songs
11 posts
United States of America
awesome!....i grew up with my brother playing acoustic guitar all day....and you sound really good!
#8July 30th, 2005 · 08:22 PM
46 threads / 33 songs
179 posts
United States of America
Great song. Loved it. You could add the drums perhaprs. Also the ending is not proper, it neither sounds abrupt nor traditional. Otherwaise great vocals and great song. Come on post another one like that.
#9July 30th, 2005 · 08:27 PM
46 threads / 33 songs
179 posts
United States of America
P.S. Mind blowing lyrics. I loved that term ' second hand hate'.
#10July 30th, 2005 · 11:23 PM
21 posts
United States of America
Nice lyrics.  I'm always fond of acoustic with vocals and nothing else.  Your singing sounds a bit pressured or rushed.  It kind of works because the song is pretty intense but it didn't quite grab me as much as it could have.  Keep on writing though man.
#11July 31st, 2005 · 02:00 AM
Nice stuff. The first song i've played over and over, really likin it man
#12July 31st, 2005 · 11:02 AM
49 threads / 42 songs
493 posts
United Kingdom
I like the energy and the drive behind the vocals. Could imagine sitting wasted with someone thrashing this out.
#13August 1st, 2005 · 03:34 AM
37 threads / 36 songs
122 posts
Netherlands
sounds quite cool , nice guitars
#14August 1st, 2005 · 05:00 AM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
hahah :)
thanks all, for the comments.

it does seem rushed, though i meant it to come off that way.

i know the ending isn't proper, abrupt, nor traditional

but then again... i hate traditional.  beyond that, it shows a side of me that's funnier instead of "live and die by music".  i'm just a kid, like anybody else, and i like to have fun 

i wanna add to the vocal track (during the chorus) a part with a group of people singing, like, a bunch of guy voices that are just huddled around singing along sort of thing.  real casual, which plays right in to what DaveUK said.

i'm doing more songs, though i don't know when i'll finish them. hopefully soon.

thanks again everyone! 
#15August 1st, 2005 · 12:47 PM
31 threads / 19 songs
612 posts
Canada
Good job,Really feelin the guitar.Was hopin for a couple of tempo changes but I still like it without.I think some tempo changes would've added some more moods to the song,anyways who am I to say ?Again good job.
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