i guess i didn't include any because the rest of my tracks will wind up covering such a range anyway. i may try it in a particular spot though...
thanks for the thought!
thanks for the thought!
awesome piece! 2 thumbs up!
| LOL! "chika chika... crap!" |
at the end of the song, couple of chord strums and then... "crrrrap!"
ahhhhh HAHAHA! i love it! omfg LOL! that's great...
nice to see you reprazent here after all this time bro...
i can't ever really truly criticize anyones music because art is art. what i might not understand could be the best art the world has ever seen.
i do however have a couple suggestions.
as people have mentioned your vocals are a bit rushed. there is a way to fix that. slow it down, just a notch or two, and play with different manners of enunciation, work with different rhythms. Also consider revising the lyrics with tiny minor changes to words which mean the exact same thing, the english language is great for that.
i like the ideas you've got in your lyrics, some of the imagery is great
"this summer was a dance floor, dark and hot"
that's wicked cool... but part of the rushed lyrics i think is maybe just they need more work. i totally understand making a song with a certain pushing pulsing chaotic movement feel, but there's also something to be said for striking a balance between that and normal rhythmic movement at the same time...
motto of my story is revise your lyrics a bit, i can but won't give you suggestions cuz they're your lyrics and me suggesting what should be done to them is blasphemy heheh! cuz though i can garner a feeling from them they essentially came from you so you really know what they're about and how to acheive the same message with them if you revise.
good writers bust it all out in a few minutes... great writers revise afterwards... godlike writers revise over and over and over... keep a copy of each working draft, cuz it is possible to revise out stuff that was good... so keep the old one around in case you realize that there was something super that you just deleted! lol...
uhh... rhythm... get a metronome and record a click track before you actually record the song... i'm not sure what kind of program you're using but if you've got multi track capabilities (and i think Audacity has this) you should be able to record about 2-3 minutes worth of metronome, then listen to it through the headphones while you record separate music tracks. That'll help stabilize your rhythm on your strumming and it'll also help make your vocals not so rushed and choppy.
This is in no way an insult to your rhythmic capabilities... anyone who's not a drummer is usually known to have sloppy rhythm, singers and keyboardists especially, of which i qualify as both!! heheh, so one of the things i do is lay down a click track... or even better is use some other outside program to write a little one bar lone drum track like just "boom chic boom chic" like with Fruity Loops or the Cubase MIDI sequencer or Rosegarden or Timidity or something, then turn that loop into however long of a wav i want and yank the wav into my recording project... voila insto drum track to play along with. I find it really helps to even out that stuff. The best part is, if you really like your vocals like you have them, even just putting a drum track underneath will give the listener the feel like the song has smoothed out and you can keep your vocals on super steroid speedy craziness like that.
Also, record the guitar part and the vocals separately, that way your guitar pick scrapes won't bleed into your vocal mic and they won't cover up your vocals as much, this can be a big problem, that will also help to smoothe out the vocals for the listener. You might already do this, but it sounds like that was one take.
If you have a hard time, like I do, playing the song on just guitar without singing it then just mouth out the words silently as you play guitar. You know how people play "air guitar?" lol well just play "air vocals" while you record the guitar track, then go back and record the vocals separate. That'll help a lot with the overall sound. Then you'll also be able to stick some compression on the vox. Compression on vocals if done right will work wonders.
Oh and by the way, you've got a very nice voice, but i hear two tendencies in your singing that you might wanna think about. The first is breathyness. On the verses you're very breathy. This might be how you intended it. On the chorus your high note sounds a little strained, which is normal for a guy like you or I cuz that's a high note, however there is a way you can "fix" both of these things if you wish. Sing from your gut, not from your throat. Sing from your gut not from your chest. I'm sure other people can give you lots of pointers on what this means and how to do it, but if you do it right (and you'll have to experiment with it) you'll get much more tone out of your voice on both the low notes and the high notes.
A general rule of thumb for starters is fully relax your throat and voice, and stiffen up your stomache muscles like someone is about to punch you in the stomache. Leave your chest and throat relaxed. Keeping your stomache muscles tense like that, draw your stomache outwards when you breathe, then apply the air pressure to your lungs using your stomache muscles. You want to think of your lungs as being like a bagpipe. Big cavity of air which is highly pressurized. Note that the only thing that should be taut is your stomache-muscle system. Your shoulders chest and throat should all be only moderately as tense as they absolutely need to be in order to sing.
After experimenting with this system for a while you'll find that you can acheive much greater depth and richness and volume out of your voice with much less effort, in fact little to no effort above the waist.
Not sure if this helps, but if you're not already doing it, try it for a few weeks and see what happens, i guarantee that after a while it'll just "click" and you'll realize what it really means to "sing from the gut"... and by the way, i constantly have to re-teach myself how to do this from time to time! heheh, even i get into bad habbits and forget bout my technique, then i re-focus on it and usually in a matter of an hour or less i get it back.
Ok bro, keep rockin, i'd love to hear more.
ahhhhh HAHAHA! i love it! omfg LOL! that's great...
nice to see you reprazent here after all this time bro...
i can't ever really truly criticize anyones music because art is art. what i might not understand could be the best art the world has ever seen.
i do however have a couple suggestions.
as people have mentioned your vocals are a bit rushed. there is a way to fix that. slow it down, just a notch or two, and play with different manners of enunciation, work with different rhythms. Also consider revising the lyrics with tiny minor changes to words which mean the exact same thing, the english language is great for that.
i like the ideas you've got in your lyrics, some of the imagery is great
"this summer was a dance floor, dark and hot"
that's wicked cool... but part of the rushed lyrics i think is maybe just they need more work. i totally understand making a song with a certain pushing pulsing chaotic movement feel, but there's also something to be said for striking a balance between that and normal rhythmic movement at the same time...
motto of my story is revise your lyrics a bit, i can but won't give you suggestions cuz they're your lyrics and me suggesting what should be done to them is blasphemy heheh! cuz though i can garner a feeling from them they essentially came from you so you really know what they're about and how to acheive the same message with them if you revise.
good writers bust it all out in a few minutes... great writers revise afterwards... godlike writers revise over and over and over... keep a copy of each working draft, cuz it is possible to revise out stuff that was good... so keep the old one around in case you realize that there was something super that you just deleted! lol...
uhh... rhythm... get a metronome and record a click track before you actually record the song... i'm not sure what kind of program you're using but if you've got multi track capabilities (and i think Audacity has this) you should be able to record about 2-3 minutes worth of metronome, then listen to it through the headphones while you record separate music tracks. That'll help stabilize your rhythm on your strumming and it'll also help make your vocals not so rushed and choppy.
This is in no way an insult to your rhythmic capabilities... anyone who's not a drummer is usually known to have sloppy rhythm, singers and keyboardists especially, of which i qualify as both!! heheh, so one of the things i do is lay down a click track... or even better is use some other outside program to write a little one bar lone drum track like just "boom chic boom chic" like with Fruity Loops or the Cubase MIDI sequencer or Rosegarden or Timidity or something, then turn that loop into however long of a wav i want and yank the wav into my recording project... voila insto drum track to play along with. I find it really helps to even out that stuff. The best part is, if you really like your vocals like you have them, even just putting a drum track underneath will give the listener the feel like the song has smoothed out and you can keep your vocals on super steroid speedy craziness like that.
Also, record the guitar part and the vocals separately, that way your guitar pick scrapes won't bleed into your vocal mic and they won't cover up your vocals as much, this can be a big problem, that will also help to smoothe out the vocals for the listener. You might already do this, but it sounds like that was one take.
If you have a hard time, like I do, playing the song on just guitar without singing it then just mouth out the words silently as you play guitar. You know how people play "air guitar?" lol well just play "air vocals" while you record the guitar track, then go back and record the vocals separate. That'll help a lot with the overall sound. Then you'll also be able to stick some compression on the vox. Compression on vocals if done right will work wonders.
Oh and by the way, you've got a very nice voice, but i hear two tendencies in your singing that you might wanna think about. The first is breathyness. On the verses you're very breathy. This might be how you intended it. On the chorus your high note sounds a little strained, which is normal for a guy like you or I cuz that's a high note, however there is a way you can "fix" both of these things if you wish. Sing from your gut, not from your throat. Sing from your gut not from your chest. I'm sure other people can give you lots of pointers on what this means and how to do it, but if you do it right (and you'll have to experiment with it) you'll get much more tone out of your voice on both the low notes and the high notes.
A general rule of thumb for starters is fully relax your throat and voice, and stiffen up your stomache muscles like someone is about to punch you in the stomache. Leave your chest and throat relaxed. Keeping your stomache muscles tense like that, draw your stomache outwards when you breathe, then apply the air pressure to your lungs using your stomache muscles. You want to think of your lungs as being like a bagpipe. Big cavity of air which is highly pressurized. Note that the only thing that should be taut is your stomache-muscle system. Your shoulders chest and throat should all be only moderately as tense as they absolutely need to be in order to sing.
After experimenting with this system for a while you'll find that you can acheive much greater depth and richness and volume out of your voice with much less effort, in fact little to no effort above the waist.
Not sure if this helps, but if you're not already doing it, try it for a few weeks and see what happens, i guarantee that after a while it'll just "click" and you'll realize what it really means to "sing from the gut"... and by the way, i constantly have to re-teach myself how to do this from time to time! heheh, even i get into bad habbits and forget bout my technique, then i re-focus on it and usually in a matter of an hour or less i get it back.
Ok bro, keep rockin, i'd love to hear more.
Sorry, but it does seem rushed. LOVE the the opening chords!!! Reminds me of incubus. Songs too short too. Lots of talent here!
By the way, the lyrics are great.
dude I actually like the ending a lot, it makes up a category all by itself, and it rocks. keep it up man this song would rock the socks of an arab. (sorry forget that last comment)
thanks again, very much everyone i'm going to be going over the vocal again sometime soon, not to REDO it, just to fix it up in a few places (like the hard "P" in the word "keep" in the first verse, slight pitch things i noticed, etc)
no, i won't forget that comment it's inspiring! 
i'm going to be going over the vocal again sometime soon, not to REDO it, just to fix it up in a few places (like the hard "P" in the word "keep" in the first verse, slight pitch things i noticed, etc)keep it up man this song would rock the socks of an arab. (sorry forget that last comment)
no, i won't forget that comment
it's inspiring! 
| hey man. |
Love the chord structure man real cool.Lyrics are comen for most songs but it came from the heart and i believed them.that's the problem with words. that's why i hate words, because they seem common, though their meanings are much more than anybody can understand, by no fault of their own!
the meanings are far more than simple dialect.
everything i say, write, and feel has more than one meaning, and the one you think of first is never my endgame, though without the first idea, there would be no endgame.
the meanings are far more than simple dialect.
everything i say, write, and feel has more than one meaning, and the one you think of first is never my endgame, though without the first idea, there would be no endgame.
| needs a little work on vocals |
vocals need a lot of work, yeah, make it a little more "whole" dunno how to say it, vocals need some work
Also, consider trying to "thin out" the lyrics, or play it slower, i dunno.
too many words flew by, they need somewhat more time or better pronunciation?
I also thin kthe sound i ngeneral needs to be fuller, consider gettin a band to do it with you, but be careful about drums.
Also, consider trying to "thin out" the lyrics, or play it slower, i dunno.
too many words flew by, they need somewhat more time or better pronunciation?
I also thin kthe sound i ngeneral needs to be fuller, consider gettin a band to do it with you, but be careful about drums.
| nope :) |
i'm leaving for canada in a month and a half, my band just broke up, and this is intentionally acoustic
i'd love to have my old drummer do stuff with me b/c i know we could pull it off, but we're going our separate ways, and my songs are the way they are b/c i made them that way, hehe
on purpose, i might add :P
thanks though!
i'd love to have my old drummer do stuff with me b/c i know we could pull it off, but we're going our separate ways, and my songs are the way they are b/c i made them that way, hehe
on purpose, i might add :P
thanks though!
Pretty cool. Get a bassist and a drummer and throw that together and you could have something sounding pretty rad.
| (bump) |
Hahaha I played this back again and noticed the 'Crrrap!'
Post more!!!
Post more!!!
| sorry |
I have to agree that some of the vocal notes were a little off. Once again, though, I WORSHIP those opening chords!
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