Sophomore slumps
Down in the dumps
Heart aches
Too many mistakes
            That's life
Evenings alone
Your life is blown
Drunk off your ass
Low in the social class
edit(thanks to kings):
Everyones alone
Sitting in a car
Trying to get home
But no one has so far

(Chorus)
That's life
Too much strife
Just deal
It may seem all too real
But that's just life!

I like that I think you're on to something good there and you should try to push it further
I hope you'll get it finished as it's such a good start for a song

Everyones alone
Sitting in a car
Trying to get home
But no one has so far !

C'est La Vie


 

Thanks Vince.I was in one of those shut up,stop whining,and get over it moods.But I'll think of more later
and kings,that was great man!I'm just gonna use that!

Dont really get it.the lyrics are nice but why so abruptly ended?

Sophormore jumps
Comes up trumps
All it takes
Enough of miss takes
That's life
Everyones are standing up
And nones are sitting down
But when the end is long and gone
You'll find them all over town
That's life
Got no wife
Just drive
Keep you'r self alive
But that's life

:]

because I couldn't think of anymore

and kings that is great ^___^ I feel so honoured that you are helping me with lyrics!

In your writing, try to write in fuller and fuller sentences. When I started writing I know most of my songs had three or four words for each idea, but as you practice songwriting (I'm on my 114th song, I believe ) your ideas become more "full".

Going from this
http://forum.bandamp.com/Lyrics_Review/32788.html
to
http://forum.bandamp.com/Lyrics_Review/57650.html

Both styles do work, but the more practice you have the better you can express your ideas, and it's a cool experience to see it happening.

I really liked the song--it had some good ideas in it, but because of its format it looks more like a memory dump than a expression of yourself. That may have sounded really harsh, but as TonightsLastSong says:

do you have plans to put this to music, or is it just an idea in the works?  perhaps some music would help shed some light on this work!

thanks for posting!  most people avoid this section, as it tends to be rather difficult to post good lyrics that everybody understands.  without music, the lyrics of *any* song can seem dull.

one thing's for sure-- it's a tougher crowd here in the lyrics forum  [:roll:]

I don't think I can say it any better than that!

une petite fille qui meure
un peu trop avant l'heure
meme les clowns sont tristes
et pleurent sur la piste
C'est la vie