I'll add lyrics later

I feel this song would go down well on the Radio.

I would like to hear some bass to fatten it up and even some grunge guitar.

Personally I would have raised the key so that your vox cut through better, hence the ending with the backing vox certainly cut through much better.

Nice one
 

It's a nice song. I agree with Denis, I'd raise the key, I think the vocals would come out stronger and I think it'd be a little better for your range. I'd also look into using a brighter synth for the piano at the first chorus to get it to cut through a little better. I'd also consider giving a longer pause after the last verse before the chorus just to add some drama. All in all it's pretty well put together it just needs some polishing.

Definitly raise the key.

Thanks guys, I did feel like there was something not quite right with this one...

Might re-record it acoustically.. might re-write the chorus.. This is currently standard tuning with a capo on 4th, if I drop the capo and sing in my higher range it's a better better but is slightly uncomfortable for me to hit the high notes on.. I'm gonna bring the tuning down half a step and try it that way.. might be better.

Maybe crappy advice lol, but I'd drop the guitar, raise the vocal pitch.  A little more contrast there would fill the song out and I think a higher range vocal would capture the emotion of the lyric better.

I agree it could be great.  That's not to say it isn't really good now, just that you have some massive potential with this one to be annoyingly catchy   Kinda makes me think of Dashboard Confessional (their acoustic work)... ok makes me think of them alot lol, but in a good way. 

keep it up, this is really nice.
Chris

I really like the sound of this song. I understand the whole idea of raising the key maybe a whole step to make your vocals cut though, but there is something kind of satisfying about hearing the almost strain in your voice on the lower notes... I think it adds to the song, personally.

High vote.

P.S. I like when the drums go to a half-time feel.

wow i actually caught myself singing along with this chorus and dancing a little towards the end. awesome!
the only small criticism i have is that i would cut the guitar from the first part of the song and just have the vox until the pick up just bc i think it would set it apart a little bit.
"see i could be so sweet
but that was for the girl that
meant something to me" is a line that i loved along with the part at 2:20 ish that picks up speed the lyrics sound great
"but i dont even know why i liked you any way" sounds kind of young.

"i hope that you hope that you can listen to all of my words" for some reason the word that throws it off for me is "listen" i can see you doing this sentence EXACTLY the same way (bc i really do love the rest of it) but instead of listen substitute for "comp-re-hend" or something like that

PLEASE record this song over again and with a few minor changes it could be an amazing song. i think i've listened to it a total of 4 times all ready

-pappap

thanks for another detailed review!

you're actually a bit behind haha, I re-recorded this and changed the chorus around:

http://forum.bandamp.com/Audio_Review/7615.html

And also did an acoustic version:

http://forum.bandamp.com/Audio_Review/7619.html


Let me know what you think!