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#16December 22nd, 2008 · 01:38 PM
40 threads
165 posts
United States of America
let me tell you a story
to be fair i can see how you can think what you do  Flyer but just listen to this and maybe you'll understand a little more.

we dated for a short time.
i payed for most of the "dates" we went on.
his parents had to drive us because at the time i didnt have my car, and he is 22 and doesnt have a lisence ( or at that time a permit) so can you really count it as dating if his parents hung around ALL THE TIME?

I have tried for over 6 months now to just be civil with him, and be nice, but honestly he kept telling me how he wanted me back, and how i was his true love, his one and only, and when i told him that i didnt want that, he would act up like a child. and im not just saying that to be mean... he seriously would. 

i finally gave up on the lets just try to be friends idea, and at the time i did care about him as a person who was hurting, but how much is one person suposed to take?

He kept sending me txt msgs about how he loved me... he ran up my phone bill. so i had to get a new number.
He tried talking to my friends on myspace about me, and he had only met one girl he tried contacting once, and i bet he still tries to msg her to find out things about me. she's a good friend and just blocked him. So he was going around behind my back to find out things about me.

He is 22 and has his parents living in his house ( yes he doesnt have a car but has a house that he pays for) they always complained about not having money, but they ate out for every meal, and didnt even try to manage thier money.. ( in all honesty he does work his ass off at 2 jobs) but he is blind to the fact that his parents are mooching off of him. His sister has a 4 year old boy, that cant even speak sentences, and isnt potty trained, and they havent enrolled him in any type of schooling program.

Okay this is all things that i found out after i was "dating" him.  I really really wanted to help and change things around for him, and help his sister with the 4 year old. it breaks my heart to see that kind of thing.

But he refused to do anything about doing anything on his own so...i just broke up with him.
i was emotionally done. am i expected to put together someone elses life when i am trying to pick up the pieces of mine?

then i tried the friend thing, and that didnt work out like i said.

i dont see him anymore, and i dont want to, i have more important things with my own family that i have to take care of. as far as getting him help, his other friends see what he's doing and they know how bad it has got. and im sure they would agree that he needs to get professional help.

he didnt come out and say "i want to give you 200 bucks if you'll be my friend."

it wasnt like that...that was just the overall jest of the proposal all together. its like somebody loaning you money but you have to do everything they want you to do, and in his case he wants me back and im sorry that im not going to sell myself out just for a little extra cash.


now you can think little of me if you want, but i would think little of myself if i had taken him up on his offer.
#17December 22nd, 2008 · 02:15 PM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
First of all I want to say thanks for going through
the trouble of explaining yourself. This does give
me a different out look. And you really didn't need
to explain yourself to me. Because this is totally
your business and not mine and I''m just a
nobody... But, Thanks. I can understand what you
are saying about him. The friendship thing very
seldom works. I know. And having his Parents
around all the time isn't a good thing.

I know this also. I was married twice and both times I
thought I married my in laws. Plus, they  were a pain in the
ass. All the time around and butting in. So, I feel
where your coming from.
Some people just don't understand it that when it's
over ..it's over...When that's the case the best thing
to do is to get away. you have tried to help this
guy. He probably enjoyed it because he was
getting your attention. I'm sure he knew and I'm
sure you told him about his parents being around
all the time was a conflict in your relationship. He
must not have seemed to care. Which is being
selfish.

 As long as you know in your heart that you
tried to make the relationship work out I wouldn't
look back... I would agree that no money in the
world is enough or the right thing to do to have a
friend. And to even suggest in any way or form to
offer money for friendship is not a good thing.
You did the right thing by not accepting...
it's time to move on. I don't think its a good thing
for you stay with this guy. Your not happy. That's
what counts...

I'm sorry I was so bold in my earlier
comment. But, I have to call it like I see it at that
time. I see things in a different perspective now.
Good luck to you. You seem like a very nice Girl
and one day you will find the right guy and he will
be the lucky one...

I hope that you have a Merry Christmas

Ralph
#18December 22nd, 2008 · 02:26 PM
40 threads
165 posts
United States of America
thank you
i just felt the need to explain myself, and actually in doing so i feel alot better.

i just wanted you to understand where i was coming from, that and i hate the idea of fellow ampers looking down on me lol.

its nice for somebody else to understand.

do good inlaws even exist? lol

I hope that you and yours have a Merry Christmas too!

thanks again.

- Sarah
#19December 22nd, 2008 · 02:32 PM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
lol
Well thanks Sarah....I feel alot better also..I felt bad because of what I said... I don't think that there is such a thing as a good in law..lol..kidding...
maybe we should call them out laws
#20December 22nd, 2008 · 03:23 PM
160 threads / 33 songs
1,964 posts
United States of America
sounds like he doesn't have a grasp of reality yet and has a bit of an obsessive disorder.  He gets focused in on a person and can't let it go. He needs to no that you are seeing other people and have really moved on. Be careful because people that can become fixated on what they consider their soul mates can become and extreme problem. Sever all ties with this person, block all calls, let your friends know the problem , let others know the problem too.  hopefully this will stop here. he is not your friend if he doesn't honor your wishes to be left alone..
#21December 22nd, 2008 · 04:18 PM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
Oo! This thread got interesting!
Ralphy ..........Sarahs just blowin off steam. But you know that now.
A problem shared and all that.....

O! Sarah welcome to the Pit. With a bit of careful explanation every one gets it eventually !
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