Simultaneously working on 4 tracks right now X_X

Wanted to share a work-in-progress called Displaced.  It's honestly a song about myself and what I've been going through these past 6 months.  Sometimes I feel like there's a lot I want to say but the guilt of just being a burden keeps me quiet.  Sometimes I feel like I just want to apologize to everyone for having to put up with me right now.  It's not all sad though, there's a balance to it because honestly my family and friends have been extremely supportive   It's just a thought that weighs on my mind.  The idea of being displaced has a comfort to it and you'll kind of hear that in the music.  Here's the lyrics:

________________________________

The words fell out from our mouths
Like they had so much weight
Each syllable was so heavy
All their meanings filled up the empty space

The time has come
For me to say sorry
For what I've become

An empty room
An empty face
A hollow boy
At home when he's displaced

Our conversation in a pause
There's something wrong with the reels
As the film spins uncontrollably
Each scene led up to how I feel

The time has come
For me to say sorry
For what I've become

An empty room
An empty face
A hollow boy
At home when he's displaced

__________________________

I'm testing out a lot of things in this mix as far as EQing and panning that I haven't done before so hopefully it sounds okay.  It's definitely rough around the edges and I'm still trying to figure out some things

Sounds good.
Have you thought about extending the intro, and perhaps introducing instruments as the song progresses, as it delivers a strong personal message.  You could start it with keys only with perhaps some light percussion to help visualise 'words coming from mouths'.

With so much going on in the mix, this tutorial will help you create a 'depth of field' in the music'.
http://www.techmuzeacademy.com/adding-depth-and-distance-to-your-mix/

The making of a great song - keep it up 

*EDIT*
Look at this too ' Mix Planning'
http://forum.bandamp.com/Recording/40345.html

Reading both of those links!  Thanks Denis!!!

This is really cool! Such a modern, relevant sound. Could hear this on the radio today. Would LOVE to hear a finished version.

Thanks for listening Peter! I'm trying to have it in the final phases by next week and will share more then

Updated with 2nd verse!  Don't want to create a whole new thread for it so I will just post a link to a temporary soundcloud here:

https://soundcloud.com/measwork2/displacedv08

Updated the EQing and compression on the vocals, also tweaked some of the panning to make it a bit more wide all around.

I have the chords down for the bridge (the one in the song isn't it)  but I haven't written any lyrics for it yet.  This song is coming along nicely though I fear my new medication is really starting to wear me down.  5 more months to go and I should be like brand new hopefully

Wow! Really impressed. Great vocals. Beautiful melodies. A real treat to hear. The lyrics are really excellent as well. I appreciate that there is real meaning behind the words. Pro performance and recording. Well done.

Thanks Thomas!  Still missing the female vocals during the chorus by Emie, but things are shaping up Updated the track with louder strings and some new effects (reversing synths and strings) during the 2nd verse to represent the film on the reel actually messing up for better imagery!

Here's the rough draft before I started sequencing the song

UA, Thanks for sharing the video for Displaced. That was so cool to see and hear the song at it's roots. And of course its nice to put a face on a voice. I think it really plays well as an acoustic piece. I followed the link over to soundcloud and listened to what you've added. Its really coming along. I don't know what you have in mind for a final product but Displaced has a certain quality to it that makes it entertaining even in incomplete pieces.
Sometimes a song just hits you just the right way and I think you've nailed a sound and I style I can genuinely say I enjoy.

Once again, thanks for listening!  All the music is recorded in my tiny shoe box of a room

All my work starts off as acoustic guitar songs I could never perform the songs live since I'm just a single person and my partner Emie lives in the UK.  So it's nice to know if I play at a coffee shop I can still perform what I write

Very reminiscent of Postal Service, which for me is a good thing. Not much criticism other than the mixing, but that will come once the song has been completed. Looking forward to hearing more!