TheKunadiun wrote…
yeah totally if you redo it and make it sound really good this song will rock 100% all the way through.
I see the collab thing is working! :D
Any suggestions/tips on what I can do to help? Is it the breathing?..pitch?..or all of the above.
This wud help a lot..thnks.
well I just listened again and from what I can tell, your out of tune in a few places which throws the feel of the verse off...and on top of that you have to say like 50 sentences within 5 seconds (my point being is that your saying quite a lot for a small stanza or verse), and because of that the breathing is part of the problem. You seem out of breath and just barely moving along because you have to say so much and because of that your pitch falls out and you drop out of tune...."train wreck" comes to my mind. now honestly its not as bad as a train wreck, but take another shot at it, and maybe try and adjust the lyrics a little even, or at least practice that part over and over to get the breathing right....if you get the breathing right the pitch will not be far behind. 
TheKunadiun wrote…
well I just listened again and from what I can tell, your out of tune in a few places which throws the feel of the verse off...and on top of that you have to say like 50 sentences within 5 seconds (my point being is that your saying quite a lot for a small stanza or verse), and because of that the breathing is part of the problem. You seem out of breath and just barely moving along because you have to say so much and because of that your pitch falls out and you drop out of tune...."train wreck" comes to my mind. now honestly its not as bad as a train wreck, but take another shot at it, and maybe try and adjust the lyrics a little even, or at least practice that part over and over to get the breathing right....if you get the breathing right the pitch will not be far behind. :D
Had no idea it was THAT bad!
But thanks dude, I'll definitely do it over now.
lol well of course its not anywhere near as bad as I described it. Im giving you a "worst case scenario" type feel...sometimes drastic surprises bring drastic changes, for the better...? 
i cant even understand what im saying.
this is a really good song and im not attacking it just "overly describing" some of the problems with...or not really the problems but the things you can adjust to make it even better. good luck
i cant even understand what im saying. this is a really good song and im not attacking it just "overly describing" some of the problems with...or not really the problems but the things you can adjust to make it even better. good luck
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