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#1February 21st, 2010 · 11:46 AM
15 threads / 8 songs
322 posts
Sweden
Two Steps V2
In collaboration with: Petermoncrieff
*

This song is not in a battle


Here it is. 

Lyrics:

STEFAN
Don't act like you don't know what has been going around
See girl I already know about
The little words that come out of your mouth
So let's walk until you figure it out
I know that there are feelings that we both share
So stop messing about and stop leading me on
I can feel it coming down and it's all too much

And we take two steps back
We're falling backwards
I never wanted to fall for you
Times will change
And people worry
We take two steps back

PETER
So it's been a year since then
I guess maybe you could have changed
Does your mom still call you up on the telephone?
To let you know
That you can't think without her
You need her there, do you need her there?
Think about it does her approval
Really mean that much to me?

And we take two steps back
We're falling backwards
I never wanted to fall for you
Times will change
And people worry
We take two steps back

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#2February 21st, 2010 · 12:57 PM
117 threads / 55 songs
1,541 posts
Chile
I still can hear the auto-tune but less. That's better.
I like the unison you made.
Good job.

             > Iszil
#3February 21st, 2010 · 01:00 PM
187 threads / 27 songs
2,795 posts
Germany


the chorus is awesome
#4February 21st, 2010 · 02:14 PM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,371 posts
United Kingdom
Much better, try some radio airplay see how it goes
#5February 21st, 2010 · 02:56 PM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
I like this so much, I do like your style and this collab of styles is just right.

You fancy putting the lyrics up like you did for the first one or a link maybe?

I could say something about the drums ..... but I'm not too sure what ! Maybe they need to be toned down in the beginning and build up more with the song.......

But good stuff guys, really enjoying, it's an up beat power pop song....the boys are back in town!
#6February 21st, 2010 · 06:39 PM
157 threads / 30 songs
1,952 posts
United States of America
ah yes the vocal are so much better in this version.. Work the drums sounds up a bit  and it'll really start sounding more pro level. .. I like it.. a nice straight up pop tune.  Sometimes they are the hardest to come up with and pretty much the most competitive genre.. I like the way the vocal were done on this take.. Especially the chorus part,, with the wide stereo split, very nice. 

 What kind of drums are you using?  Live? VSTI?
midi tracks to the drums?   They need a litle work.. with them fixed ,This song would really come alive with even more energy.

Great song, I enjoyed listening to it..Thanks for posting a 2nd version.
#7February 22nd, 2010 · 12:10 PM
90 threads / 11 songs
877 posts
United States of America
I agree with most of the observation already made (this is an improvement over the first version, the drums are still a bit overpowering). I think you could do a little work on the delivery of the verse vocals (work on your breathing....it's not just the autotune, I hear some wavering that sounds uncertain....I say this because the song...with work on the drums and vocals.. otherwise sounds ready for airplay). It has a well-crafted structure, nice hooks, interesting little "eddys" here and there...keep at it and you have a winner I believe!
#8February 22nd, 2010 · 03:03 PM
15 threads / 8 songs
322 posts
Sweden
battlecat wrote…
I agree with most of the observation already made (this is an improvement over the first version, the drums are still a bit overpowering). I think you could do a little work on the delivery of the verse vocals (work on your breathing....it's not just the autotune, I hear some wavering that sounds uncertain....I say this because the song...with work on the drums and vocals.. otherwise sounds ready for airplay). It has a well-crafted structure, nice hooks, interesting little "eddys" here and there...keep at it and you have a winner I believe!

*What do you mean by "eddys"??
Thank you for that detailed review! I agree with you about the breathing on the first verse - I'm only just noticing it. As for the actual song and lyrics, all the credit should go to Peter  Thank you for listening.
#9February 22nd, 2010 · 08:08 PM
90 threads / 11 songs
877 posts
United States of America
fais54 wrote…
*What do you mean by "eddys"??

Eddy's? for lack of a better word, this refers to what happens at 0:55
#10February 23rd, 2010 · 02:59 PM
15 threads / 8 songs
322 posts
Sweden
battlecat wrote…
fais54 wrote…
*What do you mean by "eddys"??

Eddy's? for lack of a better word, this refers to what happens at 0:55
Ah, ok thanks.
#11February 27th, 2010 · 03:16 PM
36 threads / 29 songs
165 posts
United States of America
Very Nice and different from you Fais. Drums are a little heavy and drown out the vocals some but overall. By the way, my kids run around the house now sining "Chop Chop Chop it up" and doing a little Karate Chop dance move. In the shower singing "Wash Wash Wash it up"  Playing with paper singing "Cut Cut Cut it up"  You get the idea.  Thanks.    hahahahahahaha
#12February 27th, 2010 · 06:38 PM
14 threads / 14 songs
232 posts
United States of America
Your lyrics are wrong "Really mean the world to me" is what is said but it reads "really mean that much to me."

This is pleasent to hear, but the auto-tune is way to present and comes across a little cliche. simply due to its growing popularity in the rap circuit and the pop-electronic scene.
#13February 28th, 2010 · 01:24 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,930 posts
Canada
very very good man! The way you have all the instruments layered and sitting in the mix is very good. I like the "eddys" and the guitar stuff you had and everything was very cool.
When the lyrics came in for the first verse I was a little bit disapointed, not becuase of over-use of autotune, but I think you just need to practice a bit more. I think you are a good singer, just practice practice practice and Im sure itll come accross more natural and feel much better. Also it seemed that there was too much being said in one stanza or whatever in this first verse...too many lyrics to say? not enough time? i dunno? lol

Then, WHAM the chorus came in...The vox sound freaking excellent in the chorus. I dont know how you did it but THATS how you do it.

ace job
#14March 9th, 2010 · 11:22 AM
15 threads / 8 songs
322 posts
Sweden
TheKunadiun wrote…
very very good man! The way you have all the instruments layered and sitting in the mix is very good. I like the "eddys" and the guitar stuff you had and everything was very cool.
When the lyrics came in for the first verse I was a little bit disapointed, not becuase of over-use of autotune, but I think you just need to practice a bit more. I think you are a good singer, just practice practice practice and Im sure itll come accross more natural and feel much better. Also it seemed that there was too much being said in one stanza or whatever in this first verse...too many lyrics to say? not enough time? i dunno? lol

Then, WHAM the chorus came in...The vox sound freaking excellent in the chorus. I dont know how you did it but THATS how you do it.

ace job :D

Thanks dude...I'll consider redoing the first verse!
#15March 9th, 2010 · 01:40 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,930 posts
Canada
yeah totally if you redo it and make it sound really good this song will rock 100% all the way through.

I see the collab thing is working!
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