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#1April 16th, 2009 · 05:15 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
Night
*
Please vote for this song !
Current votes: 5 (needs min. 15)
It’s in the battle 2009-05


The final version of the song that I had to write for school is finally done! I had to do this for school on the book "Night" by Elie Wiesel. Its about the holocaust.

I can post lyrics if you guys want. I haven't turned it in yet, but I want to know what you guys think.
Everything you hear is supposed to be there.
Credit:
Me on Acoustic Guitar, Electric Guitar, Drums, Vocals, I edited, mixed, created, this whole thing.

This was probably the most musically difficult thing I have ever done. Sure there could be plenty of improvements but its due to be turned in today. lol.

I'm really trying to develop a singing voice so any help and pointers would be appreciated!

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#2April 16th, 2009 · 08:57 PM
6 threads / 6 songs
63 posts
United Kingdom
Night
The beginning could be the intro to a war movie or game.  The way you blend the song and the sound fx is interesting at about 3:30.

One thought.  In the first half the acoustic guitar seems a bit out of sync with the bass and drums.  You can probably just nudge it into place in the software.

Overall..really like it.  Original and captures the essence of the subject matter.

And I'm really not the right person to be giving tips on singing!



Paul
#3April 16th, 2009 · 09:07 PM
9 threads
98 posts
United States of America
umm...Night
uhh..Good...somewhat..

No, just kidding. i thought it was overall pretty good. I mean you dont exactly have years of experience in creating songs, so no one can expect you to make the best song imaginable. but for an actual "First" song, i thought it was good. I really did like all of the different FX you threw in there though. It gave it that extra zing to the song and made it pretty much link everything together.

I cant really give you any advice other than to fit the guitar in the beginning in a bit more with the drums that come in a bit later, kinda seemed like an unusual transition. But oh well....it was a school assignment.
#4April 16th, 2009 · 09:24 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
Thanks for listening PRG! I kind of had the acoustic guitar at the beginning out of sync purposely. I wanted to give it more headroom to the song, but maybe its too drastic..thanks!

yeah thanks guitarwizard. i thought the onslaught of FX would picture the insanity that took place during the holocaust.
thanks!
#5April 16th, 2009 · 09:40 PM
30 threads / 25 songs
219 posts
United States of America
Hiya Kunadiun,
 you have quite the project here........ Definitely got your point across! I really like the way you utilized the musical collage into your song..... very creative I must say!!!..... backwards recording and all, which fits nicely as well.
 It reminds me of of a 70s Anti-disestablishment  song;;;; even though I know its about the  horrific Holocaust.
*very well done, my friend!  Thanks for sharing,
 John
#6April 16th, 2009 · 09:58 PM
128 threads / 44 songs
2,814 posts
Puerto Rico
Man I have to say..This is very cool..Your coming along very well..Loved the save me line...The recording is actually not bad....I really like the centered vox and the reverse thing was great too....Very cool k...
#7April 16th, 2009 · 10:15 PM
38 threads / 11 songs
278 posts
Canada
nice!
very nice craig, reminds me of wish you were here (pink floyd)

great fx (lol remember the linux blooping - seems u incorporated that, also like astronomy domine )

 btw i'm working on more synth for oh the pain
#8April 17th, 2009 · 11:33 AM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
Thanks Fiddlah! yeah i wanted to try something i've really never done before. I wanted to have this huge collage of everything, but for it to sound good. i think I'll continue further down the road with these ideas. who knows where ill get!

Thanks marino! i was trying and experimenting for like 5 days until I found a sound that i liked. the British EQs on my XENYX 1204FX mixer are really useful. I experiemented (and used) "ambient" micing as i call it. I had one Shure mic i found at a yard sale in front of the amp, and then a cheaper mic about 3 - 5 feet back from the other mic. I turned up the reverb on the mic behind the amp, and turned down the reverb on the one in front of the amp. I had to mess with the EQ and mic positioning for days until I found something i liked.
I then tried to give the song more headroom and space, so I panned different tracks and double vocal tracks and panned them and adjusted until I got this. i've learned a lot from this in terms of mixing, and editing, and all around music writing.

thanks connor. yeah I was going somewhat for a syd barrett/david gilmour/roger waters feel. (syd barrett at the FX onslaught, Daivd Gilmour for the ending solo, and Roger Waters for the lyrical inspiration.)
#9April 17th, 2009 · 11:50 AM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
(I added this song to the May battle...I wonder how it'll do. Please rate!)(I'm having a talent show/"concert" on May 16th too so Ill be uploading a video to something so you guys can see.)
#10April 17th, 2009 · 01:34 PM
55 threads / 30 songs
1,558 posts
United Kingdom
The intro worked out really well on this I think. 

Love the acoustic guitar coming in after (but would have introduced it earlier and faded in the volume to a point louder than you had it.
The guitar, drums and vocals all recorded at decent levels on this one too so well done there.
Construction was certainly interesting!  Not sure that I liked the break too much, but it certainly gave the ears something else to process! lol.
Some issues with levels after the break (a slight bit of clipping on the vox).
Now you need to work on the vocal delivery!

I don't know the book "Night" so can't comment on the portrayal at all - has this one been graded yet?
#11April 17th, 2009 · 01:42 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
Yeah thanks jim. I've been practicing singing a lot so I think I'm a bit better in this one compared to "lord of the flies".
I sent it in yesterday and it hasn't been graded yet, but ill let you guys know when it is!
yeah maybe the acoustic guitar should have been a bit louder...I just didnt want it overpowering everything else.
yeah the break was a bit insane. i was thinking of putting some kind of a calming synth bit in there (similar to the intro to Shine on you crazy diamond) but I couldnt get Kore player to work, and I got super frustrated, and the calming bit didn't even fit so I just went crazy with that. I was like heck..if anything...thats gotta portray the madness of the holocaust. 
thanks for the listen!
#12April 17th, 2009 · 02:10 PM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,394 posts
United Kingdom
I think for someone so young and experience and the fact you are playing so many instruments, you have done yourself proude.

The main thing you should work on I think is your timing. Personally one of the most important things when you write a song is the TEMPO. So often overlooked. So the tempo should feel and sound right, you must feel comfortable with it, that's the most important. When you get the tempo right, you'll find you wont be fighting with the song so much, obviously you have to put in the practice, which I would imagine is quite hard for you having to focus on your school too.

Again you are making great progress, keep it up, you are going to develop into a great songwriter.
#13April 17th, 2009 · 04:37 PM
38 threads / 11 songs
278 posts
Canada
tempo is right
yeah, craig you know when you listen to rush - like all their records and even their live performances, are "tight", and also with the man - all the stuff that you and I record has timing issues - we'll have to work on that
#14April 17th, 2009 · 05:53 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,932 posts
Canada
thanks for listening denis! yeah tempo is very hard to get, but I am working on it!
i think part of the reason that we have the timing issues is because each of us has a different idea of how fast or slow the song goes. (now i know that i was the only one playing in this song, but its freaking hard!!! lol)

thanks again denis!
#15April 18th, 2009 · 05:34 AM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,394 posts
United Kingdom
TheKunadiun wrote…
thanks for listening denis! yeah tempo is very hard to get, but I am working on it!
i think part of the reason that we have the timing issues is because each of us has a different idea of how fast or slow the song goes. (now i know that i was the only one playing in this song, but its freaking hard!!! lol)

thanks again denis! :)

I can imagine how hard it is for you, you are takingg on a lot, so many instruments etc. I think we all get over excited on a project and cant wait to record it and share it amongst our friends, something I used to do a lot.
I would suggest if you are going to take on a project that involves a lot of work, simply take one step at a time, don't put any pressure on yourself as to when it will be finished.  As with the timing/tempo, I assume you are laying down the rhythm track down first. Instead of using a click track try using a basic drum pattern, you know one beat on the bass drum and one on the snare with basic high hat. When you play the rhythm track try to sing along with the rhythm in your mind or out loud, this will help with the feel of the song in particular.
I normally would play the main lead part next, then bass and finally Drums.
So basically practice the part your going to record until you are satisfied with your performance. with me I can do the guitar pretty quick as it's my main instrument, but anything else I would practice half an hour a day for a week.

Hope that helps, you are doing really well, keep it up!!
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