I am very happy with my update. Mostly because this isn’t an example to show the difference between rhythm and lead guitars: while the former is.



Original song and lyrics here:
http://forum.bandamp.com/Audio_Review/5371.html

Gonna get with my guitar,
Gonna play a little for you.

(burst lick)

Prally play a little blues,
Maybe sing a little too.

(burst lick)

Everytime I try to sing, I find that I can never bring
The right notes to the scene, do you know what I mean?

(burst lick)

I try to touch your heart, now my fingers turn black and blue.

(lick)

I think I have frost bite can you please tell me what to do.

(burst lick)

Gonna get with my guitar,
Touch the string just like a star…
For you.

(solo: burst lick)

What is it that I will have to do,
To prove my love, my love for you.

Your eyes are so pretty, but you’re still saying no.
You’re giving me this look like I should just go.

(sick blues riff)

Everytime you smile at me, I feel a little blue,
The refrigerator light of your heart is shining through.

I used to see you as a statue made of gold,
I guess I was right, you’re expensive and cold.

(sick blues riff)

Your eyes are so pretty but you’re still saying no,
You’re giving me this look like I should just go-

Fuck myself?

No, fuck you.

Again.

Not bad.. hehe...  Though the foul language is kinda not cool... BUt fits the mood I guess.. and it isn't too bad,  Love the bluesy feel...  It's like Rice-a-roni, It's a San Fransisco treat..  reminds me of what would have happened if that girl in the commercial back in the seventies really could have given all the world a coke... ya know?

         JimK

Not too shabby... can't hear the vocals very well after the one minute mark.... I like low-quality, lo-fi music so I'm diggin it... singing needs to worked on some me thinks... let go a little more... not really crazy about that solo guitar sound..... but the lyrics are crack-a-lackin'.... "the refrigerator light of your heart..."  ...good stuff...

Wow, you didn't like the solo in the middle? Or were you talking about all of the electric guitar.......

Ok, so this one nearly works for me.... there are just too many things that don't quite hang together though.
The basic idea, structure, lyrics, are all fine.  But there are a fair few issues with timing, tuning, and clarity of recording.  So perhaps that last point is not so easy to deal with if you don't have the equipment, but I'd say work on the timing and ensuring that you're in tune for sure.
So this song can work - it just needs a little love and attention!

sweet that was good.

i think the language was a little unnescary but i like the solo