The intro and the accompagnement don't realy fit together in my opinion. The too should be interconnected by a similair feature/basic motive. I think the lyrics are a bit to cliche, as in not personal. The line "every life i had taken" is a very evocative line, which should be only chosen as this is a part of the basic picture. Futher more the 12-string with your voice is to flat. I think an arcoustic 6-string would do your voice and this song more justice. I know i've been quit harsh, but i hope you take it constructively.

12 string fits the song,  I agree the vocals could be louder.  Put a band in with it in the studio, would be great.