Lyrics about a guy I knew...
It was supposed to sound sorta ska-ish but I don't have an electric guitar and even if I did I probably wouldn't be able to play it...

Good layout and flow. Good continuity. Could be a hit in the right hands. Pitch it somewhere and don't be discouraged. Keep going.

There's definitely talent there i think.  i think it'd be awesome to hear some added high, long notes put in on the vocals to give it more of that extra something.  i like the voice and the soft harmony that's put in.  good work!  i like the ending with the overlayed vocal parts.

I like to hear the keyboard... the notes are happy which contrasts the lyrics, but I want to hear a different key sound... not so much distortion.
If you are not using one, get a vocal preamp, or something to liven up your voice. It is distinctive enough, but it is recorded as dead. Does that make sense? Maybe you need a different room. Try the bathroom, really.
Also, try a different mic, effect (bit o reverb), or vocal tone (open up) on the overlay to add separation 'cause they blend together too much. I am curious to know how you got your drum and instrument sounds.
Over all yes to the composition and arangement. Nice thinking.

Hey Soni, thanks for the advice...
I know what you mean about the vocals souncing 'dead.' I knew something was up, but I couldn't put my finger on it. I can't do anything about it though, the audio sequencer program methingy im using is a free demo and it wont let me do all those effects, I have no better microphones and what is a vocal preamp?
I got my drum sounds from this software I had aaaaaaaaaages ago called 'Dance Station' or something. The other instrument sounds are recorded directly from my keyboard.
Im a bit restricted when it comes to equiptment and knowing what it all does, and I have no money to buy it anyway. Turned 16 last friday, have no job yet and theres no way my parents would loan me money to do something I actually enjoy doing...
Anyway thanks for the advice!
x

I Like it, Its clear you have spent a lot of time on your recordings, its a shame you have such limited equipment, and your skint!!!!
Ive listened to all your songs and they all have that "something" that makes a song worthwhile creating. There's a lot of stuff on this site that's trying to be something it isn't. You are one of the  exceptions (bet you've never been called an exception before) your voice reminds me of Kathryn Williams, she has a similar style to you.
I like the way you put harmonies together. and I like the way you structure the songs.
Be patient, try to get better gear (I can send you some great software free of cause, PM me) keep writing, work hard., and you will have success!!!

Oh yer everyone should have an electric guitar!!!!!!

Well Done

Have your parents heard your stuff?!  I can't believe they're not in the process of refinancing the house to get your career started.  You got a great style and obvious dedication to create. I'm sure if you keep it up, and continue to your stuff out there, you will go far.

Good luck,

WoW! Thankyou Faze1!
Lol I'll suggest the financing idea and see how much I get laughed at.
I did actually play 2 of my songs to my parents for the first time a couple of days ago and they didn't believe it was me. When I did finally convince them it was, they spent about 2 minutes discussing how they could make money out of me and they've not said anything about it since. I remember when I chose music as my GCSE they were like 'What have you chose that for? We thought you liked art, You can't read music, You can't sing bla bla what goods music going to be in the future bla bla working in mcdonalds bla...'
Blackdog, I was wondering who Kathryn Williams is? Can you tell me the name of any of her songs?
Thankies!

This is really awesome! It sounds like a Tanja Donelly's track, when she was at her top. Excellent!

A vocal preamp boosts the signal and sometimes adds warmth/character between the microphone and the mixer/pc/recording device you are using.

I know you have no money but here is some advice for things to look forward to when you get a bit of cash:

I recently purchased a nice cheap ART Studio V3 valve preamp which works very well and costs less than £100. The preamp can simply boost the signal and/or add varying degrees of 'tube warmth' to give a richer sound.

Of course, you could really do with a decent microphone too to go with it - you can get a Shure SM-57 (one of the most versatile mics available that will do instruments and vocals) and mic stand/cable for under £100 too.

So basically your setup would go Vocals -> SM57 -> XLR cable -> Preamp -> Guitar Lead -> Guitar jack-to-headphone-jack-converter -> PC

So consider that £200 for the preamp and Microphone that will do wonders for your vocal recordings. Very cheap stuff for studio gear, really, but works well. Of course there are better mic's for vocals - but if you don't want to break the bank then the SM57 is a reknowned versatile mic at a great price point.

Get my gear from here:

www.digitalvillage.co.uk

Also, if you dont have the facility to use plugins, consider using outboard gear. Even the Zoom RFX-300 pedal is common and available cheaply - and has a good selection of reverbs etc. Of course, you need the right cables to connect it all.

However - if money is tight in the effects department and you want an all-in-one solution - consider the Digitech Vocal 300. It will take the XLR mic input directly (presumably won't need the ART preamp) and will give you reverb, eq for clarity, compression for volume balance, and lots of other effects. Still need the microphone, though.

Anyway - dont mean to waffle, just a bit of advice for you if you because it seems like you are really getting into recording your own stuff!

Nice track by the way

i love this one! (even more when i know it was supposed to sound ska-ish, cause now it's original). maybe the drums....
i agree with bamapicker, this could be a hit so go for it!
post some more!

Voice a little too Jewel. Good beat; good singing pitch. Very original I agree with the guy who said pitch it somewhere.

for a good detailed description of gear and stuff check the Gear Forum threads that i've both started and replied to. There is a wealth of information in there regarding how to get started with a very limited budget, and even what to do if you've got a good budget.

for your purposes what a preamp does is make your microphone sound good. that's all you need to know for this post/reply, the details are in the very detailed posts I've created over in the Gear Forum.

i like the line
"the only reason I like you is cuz your car is green"

pay no attention to your parents and what they think. You are a young female and as such you've got sex appeal and that goes a long way in the music industry. Your voice is great too. All this combined with the fact that you're actually good at writing songs could land you somewhere big as countless people have already pointed out.

your song lyrics are appropriate for your age and demographic, so i'm not surprised, but I'd like to see you write some heavier songs... though I didn't really like the "when will she learn to use a condom" song. that's just me... do whatever comes naturally... they say "write about what you know" and I think that holds true, so the motto would be stick to your roots...

if your roots are adolescent middle class british suburban female, then go with that. The good thing about writing to that demographic is that you will have a large audience with whom your music can relate. This as opposed to the transgender bi-sexual interracial african eskimo, whose audience I'm sorry to say is much more sparse than yours. not many gay eskimos in the world, who'da thunk it.

aight, that's it... keep it up...

Wow,so young, so talented.I think you should trade your parents in for a set that will get behind you and support you.Maybe Jessica Simpsons family?Just kidding,I just cant believe your parent wouldn't be more involved with helping you in what you obviously love doing.

i think you are my favorite person on here, lol.

i have decided i am a fan of you.

sounds great,
can't wait to hear even more new stuff, please PM me so i can ask you question about the creative process.