Ok, I was going through the Lyric Review Forum, a great place to get inspired. And I came across Alittlepaperdoll's song Your Swallowed Sins so I thought I would take a stab at it.... now, I am not the greatest singer in the world... so please don't crucify me for the rough vocals, at least I tried right?? 

   Anyway, I hope you like it, let me know what you think...

                 JimK

Hmmm...I really liked the intro, but when the other guitar came in it kinda ruined it for me.

Good lyrics though, you were right, they are pretty inspiring. 

This reminds me in dark cellars, a bottle of beer in my right hand, a selfmade cigarette in my left hand and long and unwashed hair. Awake for about 31 hours. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds........

So good or bad is relative (to what?)

This is mood. And you created the right mood

Yes its a good song
Yes the second guitarist sounds like he's strangling a cat
And yes the vocalist sounds like he's swallowed the strangled cat.
But as the guy says "I tried", and that's important.
But seriously I'd say, sit down and think about the song first, then jam, certainly if the lyrics are the key.

Ummmm.... thanks I think....


well, I am the first guitarist, the secong guitarist, the bassist, and the vocalist..... but, I must also add, I have only been playing for just over a year....  so I know I suck.... but thanks for listening....
BTW, are we going to hear YOUR music?   I see you have no songs here, I would hate to think you can't put your music where your mouth is... hhahahahaa
              JimK  

  Thank you Mr. TK...    I am honored by your compliment.....

                     JimK  

If those vocals get anymore out of tune, I'll hang myself. It's so bad, it's good. I can hear it on a movie soundtrack. Love the way they pan from left to right. Fully sick. You are one sick mutha! X

So I have to put my money where my mouth is!
But I'm skint!
I'll tell you what I'll do though, if you send me a 'decent' musical track (by decent I mean structure and fit the guitar better), tell me where it is, I'll download it and see what I can come up with on the vocal side.

Why?

Well I was surfing through the forums last night and came across the very lyric in question, and I liked it, liked it a lot, liked it enough to come back here and offer to sing it.

This actually never happens, I write and sing my own, but this lyric I can relate to in many ways, it's well written and it makes sense in different directions.

O yes, you haven't heard me sing.
Ok I'll upload a couple of songs for you to judge, one has a lyric the other is just a bit of fun.

these lyrics in question are mine and i like what jim did with em! "decent" song structure??????????? i like it like that, so dont go get all noble on him with you "i can do this if you do thid" and dont put him down, i dont see any of you searching thew the lyrics review and doin this stuff! besides i thought he did a pritty damn good job, so stop cutting him down!

NO disrespet dude......but i think u could have done better with the vocal.......but tune is good..........

i still really love the chorus that you did jim ^__^  thanks again ^_^