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#1December 9th, 2005 · 07:27 PM
119 threads / 55 songs
3,088 posts
Netherlands
Happy Valentine
*

This song is not in a battle


This song isn't about anybody in particular... just because of the name "Valentine" doesn't mean it's about someone with that name... I mean... that's just coincidental okay?!

....

anyways, I plan to re record this song... I'd like some ideas from my fellow bandampers... please... go ahead, add ideas, please tell me if this song works for you, and how you'd like to hear it I'd love to incorporate all comments for a new version

ah hear the phone rings
time for a night out
fragile hearts await to break like glass on
classy smiles and
aerosol touch of plastic warmth
enthusiastic spasms of a lovelife on the thresh
of lifting off...

she paints her face down with red and sticky glue
wrapped around her eyes it looks like
wings of butterflies
look at all the flesh displayed
all this ecstasy unveiled
"run away with me," her body screams,
"you will be pleased to please, please me"

she's a happy valentine
such a happy valentine

kisses, hugs and funny talk
electrifies the air
look at her attention span,
"what with who and why and where?"
a gazillion pretty friends to give her
all the love she needs
in the centre of the universe she says:
"it's just ol' silly little
ME"

it's a happy valentine
such a happy valentine


enjoy

please comment... I want to re-do this song, I'd appreciate any suggestions how-to an whatnot, I'd love to make it sound completely different!

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#2December 9th, 2005 · 08:02 PM
1 threads / 1 songs
21 posts
Germany
really cool (=
fast and hard xD
#3December 10th, 2005 · 07:04 AM
188 threads / 27 songs
2,829 posts
Germany
Why techno rhythm? The vocals are fine :-)
#4December 10th, 2005 · 11:36 AM
13 threads / 1 songs
408 posts
United States of America
Yep, all sounds good to me. The mix sounds great, nice effects, I really like the fading pitch effects and vocal overlays. I'm kinda with you like I am with JBP. I really don't have any critiques bc I don't know how I would change it. And you both have a clear focus and direction from what you want to accomplish and then you do it. And, obviously, you know sooo much more than me when it comes to production
So, what do I say... ummm, "It's a cool song, I like it"
#5December 11th, 2005 · 09:56 AM
3 posts
Netherlands
re: Happy Valentine
If you don't know it yet, i would recommend Moon Lay Hidden... i think you would dig that! this song is a bit techno/neofolk to me. wich is great -- i never heard that combo before!
#6December 12th, 2005 · 01:04 AM
14 threads / 10 songs
68 posts
Mexico
Good song, man
I think that the best thing about your song are the lyrics, and the way you sing' em (
#7December 14th, 2005 · 07:11 PM
77 threads / 59 songs
922 posts
Netherlands
this is good stuff!
no further comment needed....except for that electronic drumsound ...
and my compliments ofcourse
#8December 19th, 2005 · 08:37 AM
21 threads / 21 songs
72 posts
Germany
I like Dark :-)
ahh your voice is so cool. Reminds me a bit of Dave Gahan.. hope this doesn't bother you :-)
#9December 19th, 2005 · 01:58 PM
119 threads / 55 songs
3,088 posts
Netherlands
re: I like Dark :-)
Amused wrote…
ahh your voice is so cool. Reminds me a bit of Dave Gahan.. hope this doesn't bother you :-)

Thanks... Dave Gahan, isn't that a Basildon bloke?
#10December 19th, 2005 · 07:19 PM
18 posts
United States of America
Impressive.  It's quite a feat to be able to translate one's musical ideas to such an electronic sound.  I wish I could do it...instead I just get frustrated...

Anyway, about the song itself...the only things I might suggest are putting something in the 1:30 area...I hear the background vocals but they are not enough to satisfy in this song.  The power of the vocals throughout the song makes that lull kind of boring (comparatively).  And my second suggestion: perhaps a high falsetto voice (yes another voice) over some of the verse (particularly "...await to break like glass on classy smiles...").  I'd be real interested to hear what that would do to your song.

Very good song all around.  I wish I had the same mastery of the technical/producing side of the recording process that you have.

ps thanks for my review! I really appreciate it!
#11December 25th, 2005 · 06:41 AM
21 threads / 21 songs
72 posts
Germany
Gahan
Hehe, just saw that u asked who he is. It's the front man of Depeche Mode.
And Thanx for all your Comments on my song.
I tried to use "your" Drum machine, but I guess, I don't have any feeling for drums at all! Maybe If you had time you could take one track of mine and add some Drums to it?... If you could do this it would be amazing hehe :-)... but don't bother was just an foolish idea of mine ;-) Happy Christmas
#12December 25th, 2005 · 07:21 AM
119 threads / 55 songs
3,088 posts
Netherlands
re: Gahan
Amused wrote…
Hehe, just saw that u asked who he is. It's the front man of Depeche Mode.
And Thanx for all your Comments on my song.
I tried to use "your" Drum machine, but I guess, I don't have any feeling for drums at all! Maybe If you had time you could take one track of mine and add some Drums to it?... If you could do this it would be amazing hehe :-)... but don't bother was just an foolish idea of mine ;-) Happy Christmas

yes, I know who Dave Gahan is. Depeche Mode originates from Basildon, Essex, England...

Well creating drums just takes practice, pretty much like anything else in music. Once you take the time for it and let yourself flow with the groove it'll come quite natural.
But hey, yea, I'd like to try and add drums to one of your songs

just tell me which one, and I'll give it a shot (make take some time though, I've been pretty busy lately)
#13December 25th, 2005 · 07:39 AM
4 threads / 4 songs
15 posts
India
wow , this was good punk !!!!!
#14December 25th, 2005 · 07:31 PM
21 threads / 21 songs
72 posts
Germany
Cool
It would be really really cool if you could do this.... 
If you want you can choose one, I think my last one would be great for such an experiment, because only some simple Drums would fit (so it won't take much of your time) Take your time....    You are my hero ;-)
#15December 25th, 2005 · 11:58 PM
17 threads / 15 songs
271 posts
United Kingdom
Hey Puppet, your stuff is so englishwise! I enjoy that it's very retro in many senses, even the lyrics. In this sort of style I find it refreshing that you're doing it properly and not as tacky as nowadays. I respect the fact that you're really defined on where you're aiming at in your music.
Great recording, great vocals. Drums not my cup of tea, but you already know how I struggle with the programing of it.
Catchy tune as well man!!
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