Fresh off the press. This song is just now officially two minutes old.

They say that the heart heals quickly
A “clean break” is the best
Then how come I’m still bleeding here?
How come breathing has to be a test?

I come home
I open the door to my bedroom
Fall on my bed and cry
I live here, but I’m not really alive
I feel like I want to just end it all

All these empty pages in my diary
And all these hollow voices that are haunting me
They remind me of how every thing should be
Like my memories…

They say “Get over him,”
“He’s not worth the time of day.”
Still I keep his picture in a frame
On a stand, by the bed
And his face is in my head…

I come home
I open the door to my bedroom
Fall on my bed and stare at it…
I live here, but I’m not honestly alive
I feel like I want to just end it all



All these empty pages in my diary
And all these hollow voices that are haunting me
They remind me of how every thing should be…
All these empty pages in my diary
And all these pretty trinkets that he gave to me
They hold all of my memories
Of him and me…

(Violin solo)

I come home
I open the door to my bedroom…
(Just end it all)

All these empty pages in my diary
And all these hollow voices that are haunting me
They remind me of how every thing should be…
Like my memories…

All these empty pages in my diary
And all these pretty trinkets that he gave to me
They hold all of my memories…
Of HIM AND ME!!!!!!!
MEMORIES!!!!!!!!

I hate the way that so many decent sets of lyrics get posted on this forum, and receive no comments... It's happened to all of us who have posted here in this Lyrics forum   You just so happen to be the one with a lyric post at the top of the list, AcousticMemory!  Congrats.  I used to spend lots of time in this section, but I've been pulled away by so many other things...

I used to write things kind of like this (not talking of getting over a guy who's not worth the time of day, but other things :P ), and then i started to change into something more like what I am right now.  At any rate, I feel like I know what you're writing about on a level a little deeper than just words.  After reading your profile blurb, your message is clearer, and I like it better.  I was afraid you were going to be very doom and gloom, but I respect very much what you have as a goal, to be heard by someone that it touches.

As for the actual lyrics, I enjoy the lack of strict rhyming.  I've argued this before with people on here (!) but I personally think that a "free rhyme" can be more effective than sticking to the old rhyming traditions.  If that's the way it comes to you, then write it, dang it!!   And you have.  Good job.

The structure is pretty loose, which could definitely work for or against it, depending on how it would turn into a musically full song.  Generally though, I like the non-uniformness of the choruses (chorusesessses?  chorusi? ) and the way that it shifts a little bit, each time using slightly different wording on the end.

I'll admit that I chuckled at the "(Violin solo)" part because of the jokes about how if a person is sad, someone tells them sarcastically that they'll go get their violin--- but hey, it could be done just fine   And if it were a good violin solo, then it would leave no room for argument as to a choice of instrument!

I like the part in the (2nd?) Chorus, which starts off "All these empty pages in my diary".  It has potential for the audience's interpretation.  They might just glaze over it and remember it only as a "nice" line, or they might process it and try to figure out why there are all those pages that are empty... again, I like it

From your deviantart page, it says you prefer the Rock genre--- is that what you imagine this piece to be?  Or would it be more mellow somehow?  I notice the all-caps attack at the end of the song, which could be some sort of scream?  Just curious.

Later
TLS

Like a friend of mine just said, more people should leave comments like this; it's informative and lets me know that you actually read the lyrics...

I can be very doom and gloom if the mood suits me, but here's a little secret about any of my songs; if it's doom and gloom, that means I was in a very bad/sad/angry mood that day. I always write based off of my emotions at that point when I start writing the song, no matter what my inspiration is. One time I actually starting off a song happy because it was spring and sunny and I was happy, but because a bunch of crap happened to me that day, when I went to go finish the song it transformed completely. I've had songs that went from happy, to sad, to anger and back again (okay so I've only had two of those in my whole writing career) and I've had poems that went from cheerful to extremely depressing.

I do imagine it to be a Rock piece, but it could go either way by the time I actually go to have a band record it. I have too many songs like that, and it can be inter-petted either way. At times that's what I am for is for a song to be able to be taken either as hard core or as mellow.

With me, ALL CAPS means I'm screaming. That's the way I was taught when I first started in IMing and chat rooms was that all caps meant someone was screaming, and that's always the way I've taken it.

I was taught that poems and songs must always be perfectly rhyming, but I'm a bit of an anarchist when it comes to 'writing styles' and I never liked normal rhyming too much. As a matter of fact when I was younger I didn't like rhyming at all... One of my first poems reflects that a bit, and it did when me a poetry contest, even though my English teachers and my mother always said that what I do isn't poetry. -grins mischievously- Many would disagree.

I like violin solos. The violin is a beautiful instrument if used right, and I believe it very unfortunate that I haven't made the effort to learn it (I'm a flute and guitar girl). I believe that it could add a bit of melancholy to it if it were a rock piece; soften it up a bit. In a mellow piece you'd almost expect to hear the violin in it anyways.

As for the "All these empty pages in my diary" part, it's meant to kinda capture attention if at all possible. In my head, while the lyrics and the music is going on, there's also a music video to put to it. If I could invent one thing in the entire world, it would be a machine that captures and records thoughts, all of the sounds, pictures and feelings that go with them. Then maybe people would interpret my songs different. (And FYI, in case you were curious, the pages are empty for the simple reason that after I broke up with him, I didn't write anything, songs included, for almost a year because I was so depressed. I used to write in my diary all the time, no matter what it was... I found my empty diary the other day and that was the first line to enter my head. I wrote the first chorus before anything else was even there. Just a little insight.

Thank you very much for your comment, and I hope very much that you check out and enjoy/comment on my other songs!

I understand being doom and gloom.. it happens, and frankly there's nothing wrong with it, since there's no rule that says that songs/peotry is supposed to be a bunch of plastic smiles at all times in life.  Fact is, life's simply not like that for those of us not lucky enough to have everything laid out so perfectly for us  

I'm right there with you about the violin-- I love it, and it's an intrument that I'd still like to learn one day.  I hope I didn't come off condescending about it :P Certainly wasn't the intention, as I'm quite hypnotised by its sound.

I figured that the line about the diary pages was meant to either A)  do as you explained, about how you simply didn't write in it during the aftermath, or B) that you had spent all of your time so enthralled by the relationship that you hadn't taken the time to write while with the guy, and so after he's gone you're left with nothing, like a big hole in the diary where you had been with him.

Either way, it expresses that poetic bit that is important to a song like this... I think it's important for a song to somehow linger via the lyrics used... you know... put something out there that has the listener wonder about what happens next, or what happened before the time that the song is written in.

Good stuff--- I have to get running now... lots to do still, today... blast this university of mine   It won't let me alone!  I'll certainly have a look at the other lyrics you've posted, though I'll admit that it's easiest for me to do so on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, during some of those afternoon hours.  I'm just more free with a computer during those times :P  Anytime else, I can't garuntee!  But, soon, soon I'll be able to set aside some time and read them.  (Wish I could do it for everybody who posts here, but that'd be a task far too large for just one person )

Completely understandable. Get to it whenever you have a chance, I'm not in a real big hurry or anything, just whenever is convienient for you. Life gets busy. I have ACTs coming up soon, so writing is going to be on the low for the two weeks or so. -sighs-