Hey guys, this is a little hang-over song I had fun with. I don't have much for the music yet, but here's to hoping it all works out. Let me know what you think!
Riverside

I woke up with an' achin' head,
And wondered why my hand was wet.
Why the hell wasn't I in my bed?
And why'd I crash by the river instead?

(chorus)
I woke up by the riverside,
And thought: "That was one hell of a ride."
Well maybe it'd be better,
If I could just remember what I'd done.

A little kid came up to me and said:
"Hey mister, isn't there someplace you should be?"
Well I just shrugged and said don't know,
An' just kept stumping down that empty road.

(chorus)
I woke up by the riverside,
And thought: "That was one hell of a ride."
Well maybe it'd be better,
If I could just remember what I'd done.

Last thing I remember was that poker night.
I lost a few hands and stumbled out in the night,
Then I found a bar and the rest is all black...
So... (Stop music, then start up again at the next verse)
 
The next poker night I'll do just the same,
I've got an' achin' head,
But it was worth all the pain!
I'll have a few drinks, I'll lose a few hands,
An' go stumbling out into the night once again.

(chorus)
I woke up by the riverside,
And thought: "That was one hell of a ride."
Well maybe it'd be better,
If I could just remember what I'd done.

Like the story!

Hey I just thought, you could have finished it off with a 'twist', something like :

I woke up by the riverside,
And thought: "That was one hell of a ride."
Seeing as I went to sleep last night
On the river banks of the other side!

The only thing I 'don't like' is the 'wet hand' bit, it starts the whole thing off on the wrong foot, it's too detailed yet too vague so it could be many things to many people but not necessarily what you want them to think!

I do feel that your chorus could be cleverer, because the story develops a nice twist as it goes along but a good chorus, I believe, should be cleverly connected to each separate verse and each different aspect of the story, that's why it's a chorus, it brings it all together in a catchy all-explanatory way!
That's what I think any way.

Welcome to bandAmp too!

So do you plan to post this as a song soon?

Yes, the "wet hand" was slightly forced... I usually write with pure inspiration, and for some reason, couldn't get inspired for that one line. If you have any suggestions, feel free!

I have to say, I do like the chorus, myself. It was the first bit of the song that came to me. But I didn't really want to change it all that much through the song. Not sure why, really, just didn't feel right to do so.

Anyways, if I can actually manage to get the ideas I have for the song onto my guitar, then yes! Soon. If not... Well, I'm not sure when... But here's to hoping! (I'm supposed to get together with one of my very good friends to have a little songwriting thing) For some reason, F Major seems to be pulling me more for this one...

"Thank god for an aching head
If I didn't have it, I'd be dead
Why the hell wasn't I home in bed?
How come I'd crashed into this river instead?"

So your inspiration for the song became the chorus? then it must be kept.

Then F Major it is!

I woke up with an' achin' head,
"Well, at least I know I'm not dead..."
Why the hell wasn't I in my bed?
And why'd I crash by the river instead?

There! I think that might just be it.

Haha... I find it hard to relate to this song in a litteral sense  

I can't say I've awakened near any river banks!

It's on my list of "to do" though now...

now...

I need a river bank...

*wanders off mumbling*

When I read this, I can hear some sort of blues/country music...

It has a good story, I think! 

I agree with kings about the 'wet hand'... Good thing you changed it. 


 

Thanks, and everytime I think about it, I always hear a more folkish Counting Crows sound. I just want to be able to get that bloody idea out of my head... I have a sound, but can't seem to replicate it on the guitar!

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