#1November 18th, 2012 · 11:58 PM
2 threads
1 posts
United States of America
What change
> screamo parts
• singing parts

> hearts full of darkness were the light never shows, know even flowers are bleeding, colors running down streets trying to wash the darkness off my feet

> look away, your not the one who you should Blaime, people take it as a game, it's not ok

> not everyone gets a second life so leave the knife and erase the pain

• you only get one chance but that's all you need, take off the mask and let ourself breath and say all that was left unsaid

> throw the poison, let it crash and hit the ground, forget the past head for the present, make your way we built our life off of a game

•all the boxes full of regret everyday getting higher and louder, this feeling has me left undead, just say all that was left unsaid

>you took the gun shot at the sun, now everything is gone with the wind
#2November 29th, 2012 · 02:45 AM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
I've read this a couple of times now, it's ... interesting.
It's partly poetic, flows in jumps and the story is a little cloudy .... if you were to make it a song as it is intended , sung, talked or screamed I'm sure it could work.
Are you in a band ? Do you have more written work ?
#3November 29th, 2012 · 06:08 PM
2 threads
1 posts
United States of America
No I'm not in a band and yes I do have more songs/ lyrics I will be putting them up shortly.
#4December 4th, 2012 · 07:39 AM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
OK ! I'll be looking forwards to reading some
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