#1December 28th, 2006 · 11:01 PM
91 threads
73 posts
United States of America
Falling
If fears what makes us decide,
Our future journey,
I'm not along for the ride,
Cuz I'm still yearning,
To try and touch the sun,
My fingers burning
Before you're old you are young,
Yeah I'm still learning.

[Chorus]
I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me,
Fall right on my face,
It's an uphill human race,
and I am falling down.

I'm standing out in the street
The earth is moving
I feel it under my feet
And I'm still proveing
That I can stand my ground,
And my feet are there, haven't washed my hair
Too be lost before you are found
Don't mean you are losing.

[Chorus]
I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me,
Fall right on my face,
It's an uphill human race,
and I am falling down.

Some day I'll live in a house
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
Don't you know that's not for now
and for now I'm falling
down...down...down...,
down...down...down,
down...down...down,
Yeah e Yeah..Yeah e Yeah oh..

[Chorus]
I am falling down
Try and stop me
It feels so good to hit the ground
You can watch me,
Fall right on my face,
It's an uphill human race,
and I am falling down.
I'm falling down,
I'm falling down..
I'm falling down...
I'm falling....
#2December 30th, 2006 · 07:40 AM
77 threads / 31 songs
353 posts
Norway
This is good! 
I think these are the best lyrics you have posted here so far! 

Do you have music to it?? 
#3December 30th, 2006 · 03:05 PM
91 threads
73 posts
United States of America
i kind of do. i need to practice it a little.
#4December 31st, 2006 · 03:18 PM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
great chorus
This is a beautiful and thoughtful lyric. I really like the chorus - escpecially how you begin and end with the simple, "I'm falling down."

I like how you imply that you are brave enogh to fall, and that many choose their life path out of fear of falling - but you take what would normally be a negative feeling (falling) and you legitimize and justify it as a formative experience that you need to go through to find strength and whatever other qualities you seek.

I also like the ending chorus. It takes on a contemplative, dreamy quality.

I hear this sung pretty slow in the strong honest voice of a young woman.

Criticism:
I get how you use the line, "etcetera, etcetera, etcetera" and it might be effective sung, but even though the point is that you are referring to the "too mundane to comment further", it feels a bit like you forgot to write the line out - couldn't be bothered. But if it's your conviction to leave it there, so be it.

I don't get the phrase, "haven't washed my hair." If there is meaning in this phrase, I am missing it. Does washing your hair symbolize caring about the appearance you make to the rest of the world? If so, maybe it's fine, or maybe you can change a word or two to make the reference more obvious?

There are some spelling errors you should correct:
fears=fear's; proeving=proving; Too (be lost) = To;

Overall, I might agree with Kine that this is your best yet. Excellent writing!
Sorry, you do not have access to post...
Wanna post? Join Today!

Server Time: April 26th, 2024 · 7:57 AM
© 2002-2012 BandAMP. All Rights Reserved.