here are the lyrics for "The shadow of the moon"

Slept like a baby last night I was so sure we were right sure we were doing fine
It was so obvious that as was so madly in love with you that iI was kind of bind
And I never saw the shadow of the moon on the days of our love witch would be over soon
I never saw the shadow of the moon
But now it feels klike my life is meaningless all those things I used to love I couldn't care less now that
You're gone you found another place someone else to share your day and me I drift away
'cause I never saw the shadow of the moon on the days of our love witch would be over soon
I never saw the shadow of the moon

but don't feel sorry for myself
'cause I don't need nobody else
I'm not gonna go down
my face on the ground
I'm gonna find a way to fight another day

slept like a dead last night no colors in my dream still shot in black and white
It was like the sun has gone away
but who cares of the sun if you're not gonna stay
and I never saw the shadow of the moon on the days of our love witch would be over soon
I never saw the shadow of the moon

but don't feel sorry for myself
'cause I don't need nobody else
I'm not gonna go down my face on the ground
I'm gonna find a way to fight another day (bis)

Hey, I like this. I am not going to comment on it in much depth because I haven't listened to the song yet. A lot of lyric posts here, my own included, don't have accompanying music posts yet, so they are fair game. But we all know that when set to music, lyrics can become much more efective, and our perceptions of then can change.

So I won't be critical here. I like the piece overall, and I will tell you what I like about it and leave it at that, until I have listened to it.

I like how you introduce the title phrase, "Shadow of the moon" into the lyrics:

And I never saw the shadow of the moon on the days of our love

I find this line to be lyrically mature, surprising, touching and stirring. That's a lot for one line. Well done.

I like the line:

slept like a dead last night no colors in my dream still shot in black and white

I like this for it's raw lyricism only - but it's a song right? So that is enough.

I like the cohesiveness of the piece from start to finish. You don't stray from the point - you elaborate on it, but without getting yourself bogged down in the details

One thing, and this is meant as a comment not criticism, but I'm not sure I buy that the singer doesn't feel sorry for himself. Me thinks he doth protest too much. Is he stating the facts, or trying to convince himself of how strong he is. My guess is the latter. What is yours?

More later, and thanks for the post!     

i dunno, i think i see the irony in the statement that he needs nobody else...  it adds a little bit of flavor.  though, perhaps more could be added to embellish that idea.  (how the freak do you spell embelish??)

ah, mais vous êtes français, oui?

..alors!

Pardonnez les erreurs dans la text, si elles sont là Actuellement, je suis en train d'étudier le françias...   Ça fait 14 mois que je l'avais étudié.  C'est vrai que je suis au Québec, CA, (*ahem*) mais j'essaie quand même.    Je veux avoir un vrai accent--héhé...

en tout cas.  je peux voir que vous avez des bonnes idées pour cette chanson...

j'aime le sens de ce poème...  J'aime que vous avez le désire de créer des lignes plus compliqué que les autres phrases dans le monde... Bien que, je trouvais que les lignes dans la 1ère et 3ème stance sont un peu long sans des ... "line breaks"... (des "points de suspension"?  j'en sais rien!)   Bien sûr, les idées sont là, et elles sont trés clair, mais j'en pense que le rythme été perdu dans tous les mots   Même si les phrases sont dis dans une manière trés vite, c'est plus comfortable avec des "breaks" quand je lis.

bien, c'est juste ce que j'ai pensé.

Je suis d'accord avec Simon pour les autres choses qu'il a dise.

j'aime bien la phrase "on the days of our love" que vous utilisez. 
des autres chose que j'ai vu...

est-ce que le mot "bind" (paragraph un, 2eme ligne) doit être "blind", par hasard?

et bein, le mot "witch" dans la première stance, je pense que vous voulez dire "which".  L'anglias, c'est trés ennuyeux (si je peux dire telle chose en français), non?

bon.  c'est tout que j'ai.

(s'il y a des corrections que vous avez pour mon français, vas-y! )

thank you for the comments I thought they were both very thought through
English is not my first language so you have to excuse me sometime for not using the right terms and turn of sentences
I thought you were spot on about the irony of the chorus that's exactly what I meant and the character if I can call him that way was always trying to convince himself I think to find the strength to carry on
and may be because he thinks he a tough guy (lol)
thanks again for those very intelligent comment

I think for 14 months of french lessons your french is very good!
I feel bad about my English now
as for the rhythm in the lyrics have a listen to it may be it will make more sense
I've downloaded one in french to if you are interested

TLS : This is an English site, it is that way for a reason, I understand that you might be able to say what you want to say better in French and it might also be so that vincentL understands you better, but these are not privet threads, they are public threads and I do read whats going on here but I don't read French. And I'm not the only one!
Well done on your French but could you post a translation?

To answer your thread I was surprised of your reaction
I know I'm very new to band amp but as far as I understand It's an international website and if something more probably American or Canadian than English!
I've read threads in lots of different languages ,Spanish ,German, to name a few and I don't see why it would be a problem
You call it a private thread but at least 60 million french persons and more I'm sure around the world are able to understand it! Not exactly private if you ask me...
you cannot ask a translation for everything I think it would kill the spontaneity of the all thing
I thought that TLS making the effort of writing to me in french was a very nice and polite thing to do and it underline the fact that he might be able and maybe interested to read and give me his views on some french lyrics that I might have
It shows as well that he's an open minded person and you can't blame someone to learn and try to practice a foreign language

ps
I can reassure you that nothing was said about you in those few lines

okies.. so, my thought here is that, well, i agree with what vincentL just said.  however, i understand where you're coming from    I can't justify a protest against another language though.  Okay, so the language that the song was originally posted in was english, so maybe we should stick to english here.  but, i see that he's got a recorded song or two in french on the site.  Does anybody complain about such a thing?  no... so...

but, to be more open minded and polite, i'll paste a machine translation of my last post; something that anybody could do if they want to know what i was talking about granted, i have to touch it up a little bit where machine translation fails me

ah, but you are French, yes?

. .so!

Forgive the errors in the text, if they are really there, I am studying the french… it has been 14 months that I had studied it. It is true that I am in Quebec, CA, (*ahem*) but I try nevertheless. I want to have a true accent--haha…

in any case. I can see that you have good ideas for this song… I like the sense of this poem… I like that you have wishes it to create lines more complicated than the other sentences in the world… Although, I found that the lines in 1st and 3rd stanza are a little long without… “line breaks”… (the “points of suspension”? I don't know anything of it!) Of course, the ideas are there, and they are very clearly, but I think of it that the rhythm gets lost in all the words.  Even if the sentences are said in a very fast manner, it is more comfortable with “breaks” when I read.

well, that's just what I thought.

I agree with Simon for the other things which he says. I like the sentence “on the days of our love” that you use.

some other things which I saw…

does the word “bind” (paragraph one, 2nd line) have to be “blind”, by chance?

and, the word “witch” in the first stanza, I think that you want to say “which”.  English, it is pretty tedious (if I can say such a thing in French), eh?

good. that's all that I have. (if there are corrections which you have for my French, go ahead! )

Well here's a thank you in English anyway,

Now every one can follow the thread ! Wee!

TLS, with my French lessons 30 years passed, I still understood your review better in French than in English...

 ( ...I like that you have wishes it to create lines more complicated than the other sentences in the world…...),

or at least I thought I did. Except for the part where you said you agreed with what I had said. In French, I thought you called my mother a ("...fat, stinking pig...") Not that you would necessarily be wrong, but you don't even know her!

Seriously, I'm laughing at you, Kings, though I do understand your point. I don't see any harm in TLS practicing her newly honed French in a single reply. On the other hand, if the first post was Russian, the second Hungarian, the third Arabic, etc. it would make for a pointless site.

You sure have to admit that TLS is about as diplomatic as they come - don't you. TLS, would you mind solving the middle-east conflict while you're at it?

Oh, VincentL, did you ever think your post would spur such a wide ranging cultural discussion???

Love you all.

I have to admit I'm so surprise that such a big deal was made out of few words in french but at least it kept the discussion going!
I guess that the point of that kind of community and the interest of it too
every one is intitle his view and has the right to express it as long as I can express mine it's all very cool with me
I read some of your lyrics Simon and was very impressed and inspired
do you ever put music on them?
I know that they gave me lots of ideas

hehe, well, the way that i originally wrote that (translated more purely) it would say this:

I`m glad that you have a desire to write lines that are more complex than most of the other ones out there in the world.

perhaps I should have said it like so:  "Je suis content que vous avez le désire de créer des lignes plus compliqué que les autres dans ce monde ici."  it`s just a slight variation, but i think it`s better french this way :P  it sounds less translated-from-english.  though... i`m no expert, by any means

the middle east, eh?  I`ll see what I can do 

Yes, Ive followed threads before today that were commented on in another language and a point was made of it by the moderators PX and JimK.
I'm no mod but I just wanted to follow the thread.

I'm sorry TLS if I came over a bit blunt, it was not the idea,
I was tired and a bit fed up last night with the whole lyric thing, between Miss Bee who doesn't react and Mr Simon who writes better comments than the posted lyrics, all I wanted was to be able to read the bloody comment!

So simon your having a laugh at me? well done, it's Christmas. I'll tell you whose making me laugh, the Dalai Lama who posted a Christmas wish in the Pit (exalt in joy), split my side, messiah style!

As to your lyrics vince, I liked the song and the way you sing it but I find an accent of any kind in writing is a bit off-putting.
I like the ideas going on and indeed the context in which you write, it's just that I would have enjoyed 'reading' it with the right grammar in place.
I'm sure you write lovely lyrics in french, but because of my disability I don't understand them, and I do realise that a mechanical translation will only end up in back to front sentences!

I have a Polish girl friend, I used to give her English lessons and she would cleaned my house, well she used a machine to translate for her, God we had some laughs because of that translator!

She has sent me a few text messages over the years, some I have kept, here's two for ya :

1/  I have message from Polen now I’m certain I don’t have return to Polen I’m not bizarre only stupid sorry that you have wasted by me time in Friday.

2/ So now I have awoken and that beguile already know make earlier I afraid not people only oneself now understand everything.

I absolutely love the second one, I haven't got a clue as to what she's on about.

no worries.

wow.  i wanna date a polish girl :P

Why because she'll talk gibberish!

I tell ya their dead hard!