He's standing right in front of you
And you want to make his dreams come true
But still your life is too important
To help this little boy
You wanna help this little kid
But can't cause no one else did
When you walk away
You walk with shame
And want to turn around

His eyes are crying
His feet are bleeding
His mouth is smiling to you

Can you feel the cold wind to your cheek?
Can you hear the laughter too?
Is this a life he wants to live?
I ask you

His eyes are crying
His feet are bleeding
But his mouth is smiling to you

You turn around and walk away
Just leave him like this everyday
Tell him what he did wrong anyway

What a very strong message.

So what kind of music had you in mind?

As a comment on the lyric, I find 'can't cause' trips me up a little.

And that last line, who is saying that, and to whom?
It sounds like any one of them could be saying it.

The chorus is 'catchy' and like the rest, 'strong'.

This is like a ballad. When I hear it in my head, there is a
symphony orchestra in there too.

And the last line: "Tell me what I did wrong anyway"
The 'boy' says it to 'you'.

To me?

What have I got to do with it?

not you. 'you'.

" he's standing right in front of 'you' "
" 'you' want to make his dreams come true "
" 'your' life is too important "
" 'you' turn around and walk away "

the boy sings to 'you'.

do you understand?

 

Maybe that last line is too abrupt then?
That it doesn't flow somehow.
And if you were to put a reference to 'you' in the last line?
Like : What have I done to you anyway.  ?

I was browsing some of your audio posts, and I got interested enough to find out more about you. So I looked through your lyric posts and comments, and I found this GEM.

Have you recorded and posted this? IF so please provide the URL. I really like this, and I hear the orchestrated balad, but since there isn't a Kine orchestra just yet, I would settle for some simple rythm guitar and an honest voice.

Not recorded, and I don't know if I'm going to record it...
It's not my kind of genre, and I really don't know why and how I wrote it...
So, if anybody wants to use the lyrics, feel free to do what ever you want.
 

POO! you wrote it, it came from within you, it is part of you! 

Maybe it's not finished yet or you want to re-write it!

Hows Cubase?

I read somewhere you record your tracks from MP3 player??
Haven't you got a mic yet?
I've been getting into GuitaRig2, WOW.
I've put a FULL version on the Download Page of mine.

Happy New Year!

It turns out I can't use cubase, cause I ain't got a mic...
But it's my birthday soon... 

you know what... i like this kine.  you write like i want you to write, and not like a whimpy little 12year old girl who sings like her life is over

the last line does sort of stick out funny, since the whole song doesn't revolve around "me" or "I", but rather "him".  that makes the last phrase sound different, as if it belongs in a differnt song almost    maybe you could embellish what you mean to say?

Now, I have changed the ending from "Tell me what I did wrong anyway" to "Tell him what he did wrong anyway".