#1December 5th, 2007 · 09:49 PM
76 threads / 5 songs
529 posts
Cook Islands
Ode To Subway
random off my head ish.Haiku :]

You play Christmas songs
Full of many food items
You are the greatest

Your bread is so good
Fills me with deliciousness
I may work there soon

Sarah works sometimes
Your tomatoes are not ripe
But you are still good


and that's all I have lol
#2December 6th, 2007 · 08:41 AM
15 threads
63 posts
United States of America
more like ode to the market? can you work on a subway?
 the driver but can u buy tomatoes? do they have subways
in Arizona?
#3December 6th, 2007 · 10:52 PM
76 threads / 5 songs
529 posts
Cook Islands
lol no!The Subway restaurant!They makes subs and such.
And I think they are working on a subway here in az I think it's called the 'Light Rail'.I have no clue though!!!
#4December 7th, 2007 · 08:37 AM
15 threads
63 posts
United States of America
OOOOOOOOOO ok lol i feel stupid now!!!  
Gah the Light Rail huh sounds like a real sleezy strip club!!!!!!!
                   Im retarded !!!!!!!!!
#5December 7th, 2007 · 10:48 PM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
oh boy...

as for the 俳句 (haiku)... well, the two characters used to write the word are first:  one for "actor", and second:  phrase, clause, expression, verse, stanza, etc etc.  This being the case... i'd say that you've definitely succeeded at the stanza rules for haiku, being 17 syllables total.  (as for the "actor"... well, just keep going with your idea, and we'll see if we can pull a play out of our butts about unripe tomatoes and christmas songs... heck, I'd fund a project like that   )

You know, the simple fact that you took time enough to write this (rather than just write out similar sentences, but in a non-haiku form) is great    It demonstrates that the ideas expressed here were important enough to you (on a dead-serious or sarcastic or random level) that you actually sat down and wrote this out.

Haha.. sorry to hear about the light rail, the new sleezy strip club.  haha.. .who am i kidding?!  Light Rails are useful.  vote for light rail systems.

and for my critique... *drum roll*

you've broken some amazing boundaries here by combining haiku form while titling it an "ode".. which are admittedly two significantly different things (an ode being a complex set of stanzas, whereas haiku is rather basic   ), but hey--- nobody's stopping you   maybe you can start a new hybrid form of haiku and odes... you could call it 叙情詩句 (jojoushi ku) ... litterally an "ode stanza/phrase/etc".  ... or you could call it a odeku.  or haikode.  take your pick

thanks for posting this!  it's made me a bit happier!  subway sounds really good right about now...
#6December 8th, 2007 · 01:05 AM
76 threads / 5 songs
529 posts
Cook Islands
o: the unripe tomatoes are singing christmas carols!!!
I found my English assignment!!!so much better than 2 people falling off a snowy cliff and being stranded.(not being sarcastic)

well I'm stuck in a 'rut' as you say...but I am getting out of it....but not very well...scrambling..eh...
and it was on all levels lol 

maybe there is a joint called the Light Rail  that would be so funny and awkward at the same time XD

and I never looked at it that way >_< thanks
and I like jojushi ku...has a nice ring to it when you say it...


Glad it made ya happy ^_^
And free sanwhiches for everyone!!!!
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