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#1December 2nd, 2006 · 03:20 AM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
Seasons When The Sun Shines
Everything looks bigger
When you’re only very small
When I was still a little boy
I nearly saw it all
I saw fire in the cities
I saw Armstrong on the moon
I saw Mama fixing breakfast
With a needle and a spoon

Saw my old big sister Stacey
When she broke her heart one day
She came crying home to Papa
But he didn’t know what to say
So I sang her this sweet lullaby
Until her tears were spent
Then we sang it both together
‘Cause we liked the way it went:

“There are seasons when the colors turn
And seasons when it’s cold
Seasons for the young to earn
The wisdom of the old
There are seasons when the winds of change
Come blowing through your door
And you start to live for reasons
That you never knew before

“There are seasons for reflection
Upon the looking glass
Seasons spent awaiting
What may never come to pass
There are seasons when your love will grow
And seasons when it won’t
There are seasons when the sun shines
And there’s seasons when it don’t”

Papa was a botanist
He won a Nobel Prize
Proved everything that matters much
Begins with ‘X’ and ‘Y’s
Undaunted by celebrity
He traveled far and wide
But he looked too hard and saw too much
And found his suicide

I tried to understand the life
That drove him to his ends
I stalked his empty spaces
Far too late to make amends
When he called me from beyond the grave
I never heard a sound
But then I walked though Papa’s garden
And that is where I found:

"There are places so abundant
Almost anything can thrive
Others are so barren
It’s a struggle to survive
There are places where the weeds have grown
Upon benign neglect
There are places where the climate zone
Can trump the intellect

"There are places where the grass is green
And places where it’s brown
Places where the ripened fruit
Is falling to the ground
There are places where the flowers bloom
And places where they won’t
There are places where the sun shines
And there’s places where it don’t”

My baby sister Janie
Was the sunshine in my heart
But she died when she was seven
And it tore my world apart
Dumped my book-bag in the schoolyard
Jumped the first train I could find
I couldn’t shake the empty feeling
There was nothing left behind

I have traveled many countries
I have slept in many towns
I have seen them standing up
And I have seen them falling down
But it doesn’t really matter
I can never stay too long
Every night the curtain rises
And my demons sing their song

My life’s a string of moments
I can never quite connect
A rabble of relationships
That never intersect
And in the moments that divide this life
From that which lies beyond
I see Janie’s ashes scattered
On the surface of a pond

There are moments when I wake up
And I don’t know where to start
Moments when I pray the Lord
Will open up my heart
There are moments when I’ll see the light
And moments when I won’t
There are moments when the sun shines
And there’s moments when it don’t
#2December 2nd, 2006 · 05:36 AM
341 threads / 59 songs
4,361 posts
Cymru (Wales)
OK I need some time to digest this, it's amazing for starters. I'll add more later.
#3December 2nd, 2006 · 08:10 AM
46 threads / 33 songs
179 posts
United States of America
This again is awesome. It is simply amazing ur powers of looking at the small things. My favourite line is Amd found his suicide.
#4December 2nd, 2006 · 11:45 AM
341 threads / 59 songs
4,361 posts
Cymru (Wales)
This is an epic, it's even bigger than 'If I could write the song'.

So have you experienced all of this or is it your incredible apathetic abilities? Don't answer that it's got to be way too personal of me to ask actually!

This is humorous and immensely sad, and you bring that sadness over with such beautiful lyrical twists and turns.

I'm gob-smacked to be honest with you.

It's the intelligence of the scream, it's cool, calculated expression of things so disturbingly painful.
#5December 9th, 2006 · 03:10 AM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
merging fantasy with what is true
Kings asked how much of this is born of experience, and how much just comes from writing skills. This is a 99% fictional narrative (I did see fire in the cities, and Armstrong on the moon), but you might say there is an emotional truth behind it. The story is a vehicle to express that emotion. But don't think for a moment that I sat down with the end in mind. I didn't have this well-spring of emotion, and some uncanny ability to map out a story to express it. It evolved as I wrote it, and the emotions that I was trying to express evolved as well. Some things didn't work and I discarded them. Others were pretty good, but didn't fit the tone, and were filed away for future inspiration. I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for your positive feedback.
#6December 18th, 2006 · 12:21 PM
117 threads / 20 songs
1,422 posts
United States of America
this is definitely a fine collection of emotions.  what you said, Simon, "But don't think for a moment that I sat down with the end in mind" is so very fitting of how we end up in our lives... I think that one of the themes behind this very lyrical piece is just that:  at the start, we never realize what the end will be like.

a few things i noticed...

...Seasons spent awaiting, What may never come to pass... (paragraph 4)
   This just sort of jumped out at me when I read it, as did many other things, but this one in particular because my life seems to be full of those sorts of seasons currently

...Undaunted by celebrity... (paragraph 5)
   What a cool, collected way to use the word celebrity.  this is something that i seem to notice about you when you write, Simon.  You slap down these expressions, but without overemphasising them.  It allows the truely 'seeking' readers to find what treasures they will.  Bravo for originiality.

...But he looked too hard and saw too much, And found his suicide... (paragraph 5)
   Another piece of wisdom, or possibly foolishness, depending on your outlook.  The guy over my shoulder just read that line and he was like "that's dumb.  how on earth would anyone find suicide by looking too hard for something?"  Ha.  What would it take before the people of the world, countries or towns the world over, found the personal meanings of that statement?    Though... it makes me wonder... is it true that we may find such a thing by searching too hard, giving "unequal scholarship," one might say, to the find details in life?  Is it possible that we may do such a thing by seeking so hard?  More importantly, does this mean that we should NOT seek for such understanding? or that we should...?  It's hard to distinguish which train of thought is the "higher" or "more wise" of the two.

...Places where the ripened fruit, Is falling to the ground... (paragraph 8)
   This isn't really a fault of the narrator, but rather, of the english language...  since 'fruit' is both a singular and a plural form, i read it as a plural, just out of natural, subconscious, habit.  But really, it was singular.  I don't know if anybody else had that problem, but if so, then maybe wording could be changed.  But then again... now that I'm reading it over and over again, it seems to be more than clear as is.  Maybe my brain just gliched or something

oops... i might add more later, but i've run out of time!  sorry!  i'll edit the post or maybe just post a new thing next week

but... very good job, man.  I like it a lot.
#7December 18th, 2006 · 01:06 PM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
like minded
TLS, you hit every nail on the head above. You should be teaching English Literature at Cambridge. You are the bestest  .

 Here are some comments on some of yours...

...Undaunted by celebrity... (paragraph 5)
You said I "slap down these expressions" without over-emphasizing them. I do try. Think of that proverbial nail you keep hitting on the head. That's right where you want to hit it, but once you drive it all the way in, you don't leave anything for the reader to do except admire whatever it is you have constructed. When you just tap it in, the reader notices it sticking out, and it becomes an item of concern. Think about an investigative reporter who is intrigued by some facts and starts digging for the story behind them. But this is a song, and the only truth behind it is the one you give it. Songs are best when each person relates to it on his/her own level. That is what makes them personal and special. In this piece, I just lay out the bare facts, but not much else; Hopefully they are intriguing enough to make you want to examine them closer. I'm trying to engage my readers/listeners.

...But he looked too hard and saw too much, And found his suicide... (paragraph 5)
No doubt this happens. I am no expert on suicide - never manned the hotline. But people commit to it when they lose all hope, and if you look too hard at the human condition, hope is easy to lose. This paragraph is about a highly intelligent man (established) who became exposed to humanity on a whole new level, and it drove him to dispair. Combine it with a junkie wife (estabished) and kids he can't relate to (hinted). Some of us look at life real hard, some less so. Those who look harder may have more depth, but do they have more happiness?

...Places where the ripened fruit, Is falling to the ground... (paragraph
Here you are referring to the use of the verb "is", corresponding to the use of the word "fruit" as singular, whereas the image is not of a single fruit falling, but of all the unpicked fruit in the garden. And while the visual is accurate, and there is more than a single piece of fruit, the phrase "ripened fruit" refers to all of the fruit as a singular item, as in a harvest of fruit, or more accurately, unharvested fruit. You don't "harvest the corns", you "harvest the corn", and after harvest, you store "it", not "them".
#8December 18th, 2006 · 08:11 PM
117 threads / 20 songs
1,422 posts
United States of America
touché

profound comment... (there ought to be a thread just for those!)

this is a song, and the only truth behind it is the one you give it.

i think that sometimes the nail deserves to be hit down hard into the surface, but when you choose to do that as a lyricist, you have to give the listener/reader a show, you know what i mean?  The "show" is what gives the hit nail it`s gusto.  or rather, it gives the lyricist his/her gusto while swinging with all his might.  and so, sometimes it`s appropriate to hit hard, but other times, it doesn`t require so much muscle.  i think you said it quite well, that the nail that sticks out draws attention to itself, and then it`s up to the reader to investigate.

haha, and i have to laugh over the analysis of "ripened fruit is falling".  i think your explanation stands strong!  like i said, the more i read it, the more it seemed correct to me, and this is probably why   i just got messed up by my own analytical mode

well done 

XO, TLS
#9December 19th, 2006 · 04:40 AM
77 threads / 31 songs
353 posts
Norway
ok.... 

I had to read this a couple of times...
It's like... Your whole family is in there...!! 

The only thing I can say is: It's REALLY one great piece of work!
It's a LOT of lyrics!!! 

Great!

I love it!

But still I have to read it a couple of 100 times more!! 
To really understand all of it..

 
#10December 19th, 2006 · 05:39 AM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
here's how it works
Thanks you Kine! Now that you have said nice things, I review some of your posts! It's like the lyrics mafia!!!   
#11December 19th, 2006 · 05:52 AM
77 threads / 31 songs
353 posts
Norway
"lyrics mafia" hehe   

I'm gonna come back, and write a looooooooooooong review. I hope. 
I can't write something as long as TLS',
but I will try to do my best. 

Meanwhile... I'll just say that IT'S REALLY BIG! And long...
I still think that it's a great piece of art!     
#12December 19th, 2006 · 05:10 PM
117 threads / 20 songs
1,422 posts
United States of America
the lyrics mafia, indeed    let`s see if anyone else catches on
#13January 1st, 2007 · 10:18 AM
77 threads / 31 songs
353 posts
Norway
ok... so, what kind of genre is this? That's the first thing I wanna know...
I can't find anything to criticize... 
It's too good to criticize!

Sorry... I don't know what to say, other than: This is good!!! 

If I should say something...

I think that the second chorus:
“There are seasons for reflection
Upon the looking glass
Seasons spent awaiting
What may never come to pass
There are seasons when your love will grow
And seasons when it won’t
There are seasons when the sun shines
And there’s seasons when it don’t”

...should be moved to the end of the song.

I think it's better with one chorus after the first verses, and then maybe play for example 3 chorus after each other at the end...

I don't know... Just a thought...

But... I LOVE this song!! 
I can hear it... It's really good!!!


 
#14January 13th, 2007 · 11:40 PM
6 threads
7 posts
United States of America
I hope you don't mind, but I just grabbed my guitar and sang this song right off my computer I loved it so much!!!  I love your style of writing, and I would love to hear the true music that intertwines with such awsome writing.  I'll be checking the audio reveiws like a fucking madman!!!!!!!
#15January 14th, 2007 · 07:46 AM
97 threads / 43 songs
500 posts
Australia
Oh man, this is a poem and a half, the words are haunting and amazingly beautiful, as kings said, this is epic, a masterpiece. Either, this is too good for music, or you'd better do these words justice by one hell of a song.

Brilliance in its entirity.

                     

Thats how much I love it.
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