#1December 1st, 2006 · 06:51 AM
341 threads / 59 songs
4,361 posts
Cymru (Wales)
Y es Y es Y-es Yes Us YesUs Yesus
This is inspired by Maelgwyn Gwynedd (+/-500AD) who is the first documented British ruler.
It is believed that 'Arthur' was one of his henchmen.

Enemies of god

Remember who you are
Remember what was said
Until the end of time
Protect this hart of mine
From my lord upon the hill

Enemies of god
Live in me
Your twisted history
Meet in man
What your little sister let me see

Enemies of god
Meet in me what you forgot
Funny how it's always been the way, so odd

As far as I can see
There's nothing else that I can be
If you so wish my captivity
I'll have to be your enemy

I am but one man
How can so many men before me not understand?
She is not yours even when you're holding her hand
And any distant shores are another mans land.

I'll be an enemy of god if your god can't get enough
I'll be an enemy of god
I'll face the fires of my own
#2December 1st, 2006 · 11:19 AM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
a chant
This sounds like it comes from about +/- 500 AD. It captures a dark, rythmic, druid-type flavor. The story, as it were, is as murky and incomprehensible (to me) as the distant past in which it is set. I don't know if this is intentional, but it works. I hear drums beating and a rythmic chant. And I like it. Um, maybe a new title? This one reads like Meg Ryan's fake orgasm in "When Harry Met Sally" (a wonderful scene for those who missed it). 
#3December 1st, 2006 · 06:12 PM
341 threads / 59 songs
4,361 posts
Cymru (Wales)
Yes Us
Yes a wonderful scene indeed, but it's not going to change the title, unless I'm put under immense pressure by some nutcase religious order.
I would love to explain it all to you but as you yourself mentioned before, it's good to keep some mystery.
But having said that I would like to fill in some gaps.

I started studying the Arthurian Legends and found that the deeper I went the closer to home I got, quite literally.
'Enemies of god' is a Bernard Cornwell novel, but then I personally found out where he got it from and all the pieces started falling into place.
The title is indeed a chant, my own insight into the origins of Christianity, way before 'Jesus' and well into early Greek history, the idea comes from Joseph Cambells Masks of God series.

So I end up with a pretty simple poem with immense depth.

Your a Leo, but of course you write for a living, silly me!
#4December 1st, 2006 · 08:04 PM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
a simple poem with immense depth
Well said. That is a great review of your own work.

...by the way, I don't write for a living - yet.
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