She Ran Away |
this is a song me and my drummer made up at like midnight the 1st verse is kinda eh and the chorus we really like give us your comments and if you know what we can change about the verse tell us and if you have a second verse that would be helpful. p.s music will be coming but we don't have a recorder so we cant record and our budget isn't all the big since our parents wont let us get jobs so well be recording with a cam that has voice recording on it so just be patient
the year was fresh and I saw you
time went fast and I went blue
I couldn't wait for her the next day
so, I followed her and I said hey
we were such perfect friends
until I destroyed it in the end
and now instead of saying hi
you just look from side to side
I don’t know what to do
Except to try to forget you
I know well still be friends
But this is the beginning of the end
she walks again and I stepped through
she stared at me like I've been wanting you
I couldn't say the words I mean
she stood by me and walked between
another day another dream
I promise you I won't turn green
the year was fresh and I saw you
time went fast and I went blue
I couldn't wait for her the next day
so, I followed her and I said hey
we were such perfect friends
until I destroyed it in the end
and now instead of saying hi
you just look from side to side
I don’t know what to do
Except to try to forget you
I know well still be friends
But this is the beginning of the end
she walks again and I stepped through
she stared at me like I've been wanting you
I couldn't say the words I mean
she stood by me and walked between
another day another dream
I promise you I won't turn green
who says? |
Who says you need another verse? I think when you've said what you have to say, you're done. Suggestions? You could put an instrumental after the chorus, then repeat it again without a verse in between. You could also break the verse into two verses - it works pretty well if you break it right in half.
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