#1September 29th, 2006 · 11:42 PM
25 threads / 22 songs
132 posts
Ireland
Couches at sea
1
I wish i could fall asleep on the couch
Or even just get to sleep
And not dream or wake or have to breathe
Because breathing is what makes you weak
                                                                      2
I think if i fell asleep on the sofa
It would make me sticky and thin
And then we d get ill, or terminate night
Because night is the time we awake

                                                                      3
I know if i crash straight into a wall
All of my bones could break
A risk, though it is, worthy of cause
An effect i am willing to take
                                                                      4
And so if i went and leapt from a bridge
What use would a couch be to me?
Can we sit and take stock of the walls
And the clock, when our bodies are drifting to sea?
#2October 1st, 2006 · 12:06 AM
44 threads / 6 songs
305 posts
United States of America
Holy hell man

You've got some serious talent.

That verse verse is THE SHIT!
#3October 1st, 2006 · 01:16 AM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
it is nice, cool...n somehow funny at the same time!
#4October 1st, 2006 · 02:58 AM
5 posts
United Kingdom
I respect the work of others, but this is very superfluous...
#5October 1st, 2006 · 09:30 AM
25 threads / 22 songs
132 posts
Ireland
elaborate
could you elaborate, as to how it is superfluous?
#6October 2nd, 2006 · 03:11 AM
46 threads / 33 songs
179 posts
United States of America
I think I am falling in love with ur stuff. God u write some awesome stuff. This is sooooooooooooooooooooooo good.  I am not saying I make any sense out of it or anything. I have noo bloody idea whyI like it.
#7November 17th, 2006 · 01:55 AM
30 threads
169 posts
United States of America
ambivalent
Verse 1 is so-so, 2 is poor, 3 and 4 are really strong. I think 1 and 2 need some work. They need to be as emotionally strong as the rest, but right now they are a weak setup. Good imagery here, visceral.
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