Impression.

Just in time I caught the blue spots
hidden in an aquarelle of red and brown

I stopped and took a closer look
It was amazing, all that beauty

Absolutely
I close my eyes
I'm loving it
and all the people
say it's alright
it's meant to be

I love the figures, I love the shape
I love it all, I love the taints

I take a brush and draw me near
I kiss the horizontal stripes

they curl up
and her eyes close
she's enjoying this
and all the people
say it's alright
it's meant to be

I paint more reds and browns and blue spots
because she still missed something

at a closer look, it makes a fantastic blend
it's not as nice, but it fits

It's finished
we close our eyes
we're living it
and all the people
they will say,
they will say
it's alright
it's meant to be

I step inside the picture, united forever
we'll grow old together

people will pay millions for this painting
it's total beauty achieved at last

but how come you don't want it?
This is a dream, this is a dream
this painting can't be real
this is a dream, this is a dream
it can't be real

***
It's actually just an update of the other one, but the other one sucked. What do you think of the new one?

Rofl. I still don't get it. I have to say, if you ended it with something like, "You will be my greastest masterpeice... even if only a dream..." It would fit and be totally romantic. Though I've used the "You will be my greatest masterpeice line before in poetry.

It must be my influences... you know, In my mid-teens been listening to music that people call "emo". Now I am 17 (going on 18 ) and I'm not fully into that genre anymore, I just like what I like, no matter what genre. But now back on topic... Instead of ending it softly I make some sort of "emo"-influenced climax. Those last lines are like: my head is all fucked up. It IS indeed a dream in the way I wrote this.

I'll just leave a note here, but I think it's fairly clear:
The whole song is symbolical. You just have to imagine some guy standing in front of a painting, it's a beautiful painting, the most beautiful painting he's ever seen. It's also a really vague painting. That's kind of how I think of love. When I were to describe love as if it was a 'thing' I would say it was something beautiful but vague.

In plain English: A guy sees a girl and immediately has a huge crush on her.

Then starts the dream (or is it real? depends on your own situation/point of view):
He takes a brush and draws himself near. So he steps near the girl/painting and at in that same word he draws himself near to this vague interpretation of this girl, so to say. The blue spots are obviously her eyes and the red and brown is her. People are brown (and she has brown hair) and they have a red face when they blush (which is generally considered as cute). The horizontal stripes are simply lips, he kisses her lips. They curl up, she's smiling. Then you're on your way to understand it all. The "it's not as nice, but it fits" obviously depicts its humbleness. He doesn't think he's any near as beautiful as her.

Then in the last 5 lines he comes back to reality:
No matter how much he loves her, she just rejects him.

So you suggest to drop those last lines? Maybe I should...

I like the last lines, but it seems like a feint ending. The song is strong because of those lines, but it seems like a cop out, fade out scenario. You know?

Yeah, I think I know what you're saying. It really is, yeah. The lyrics are more direct, the lyrics are actually a climax but it is indeed a fade out.

i think your song is cool, I've never really seen the two line, two line, chorus song lyrics before. Really innovative!

This shows a lot of talent. I completely got the story about 2/3 way through. The story line isn't completely cohesive, its a little loose and meandering, but then again, it would appear to be borne of insanity , so what should I expect?

I love the line, "I take a brush and draw me near". I love word play like that, that surprises and delights, but doesn't draw attention to itself. I don't know how this will fit to music, and I would encourage you NOT to be afraid to make changes to make it a better lyric or a better song. I am not suggesting that it needs changes, but it is so individualistic that I can't tell yet. I'm just saying, don't get "vested" in a piece, and feel that once you finish it, that you would be violating the artistry by coming back and slashing it apart if something needs to be reworked.