Rofl. I still don't get it. I have to say, if you ended it with something like, "You will be my greastest masterpeice... even if only a dream..." It would fit and be totally romantic. Though I've used the "You will be my greatest masterpeice line before in poetry.

I like the last lines, but it seems like a feint ending. The song is strong because of those lines, but it seems like a cop out, fade out scenario. You know?

i think your song is cool, I've never really seen the two line, two line, chorus song lyrics before. Really innovative!

This shows a lot of talent. I completely got the story about 2/3 way through. The story line isn't completely cohesive, its a little loose and meandering, but then again, it would appear to be borne of insanity , so what should I expect?

I love the line, "I take a brush and draw me near". I love word play like that, that surprises and delights, but doesn't draw attention to itself. I don't know how this will fit to music, and I would encourage you NOT to be afraid to make changes to make it a better lyric or a better song. I am not suggesting that it needs changes, but it is so individualistic that I can't tell yet. I'm just saying, don't get "vested" in a piece, and feel that once you finish it, that you would be violating the artistry by coming back and slashing it apart if something needs to be reworked.