Dunno what happened to the original post! Anyway, I've struggled for some time to write something really from the heart about my girlfriend of 4 years....I find it easier to write about older relationships or made up stuff, and usually hit a roadblock when it comes to trying to express my true feelings about someone at the time of writing. Lately she's been restless about staying in one place and we've talked about going somewhere together and maybe her going and me following some weeks/months behind. That's what the last verse is about, anyway. So with that in mind, this is what I came up with:


I don't know what kind of song I wanted you to be
a million little precious lines that cap our history?
or mumbling moist redundancies almost infinitely?
not me

A dozen rhyming couplets screaming how I love you so?
scrawled on special paper you plant so it can grow
into a little seedling that reminds you how I feel
get real

Wish I could write something they'll remember when we're gone
so they'd say "back then, by god, they sure knew how to write a song!
and how to tell a million strangers all about the girl they knew
and make them love her too"
it should be you

all I know is that I love the way that little line
crunches up between your eyes when your angry, sad, or tired
and when I wake up next to you you always have a smile
to file

into the folder in my brain that stores the thousand thoughts
that translates directly into how without you I'd be lost
and I like to think that without me you'd need directions too
wouldn't you?

Wish I could write something that would shatter all the charts
and everyone on planet earth could hear about the part
that you played in making life as good as it has been
and they'd toast and grin
and call me a lucky man

which is what I am

IF you hop a westbound plane tommorow to japan
know that I am with you and I'll follow when I can
and if I can't I'll wait for you inside a gentle dream
of you and me

I finally wrote something that was worth the time it took
and even though our granchildren might not read about it in a book
it's important beacuse I wrote it from the heart
that was the hardest part

nice...writing from the heart is also the best part...& The hardest

Flyer

The first 3 stanzas are reaeaeaeaeallllllllllllyyyyy mind blowing. Love them, adore them, dig them, I think I have read them, like 7 times already. DUUUUDE they were gooood.


But they the quality kind of goes away in the others. DId u write them in two sittings?

The metaphors (not sure if its the right word), the adjective, the sheer voilence is well.....poetic, nah Pushkinnish, ' Anna issh'.

Wow. I think this the lyrics speek for themselves...I tried to find a problem with it for a citique, but couldn't find one! Brilliant job!

man i could of sworn i replied to these?? any way... i LOVE these and cant wait fo ryou to put them to a song youll have to let me know hen you get them out ok? wonderfull job amn, cookie for you!

-pap

I appreciate all the feedback guys. I really do. I think they still need a little work, and Songwriter has a point that they seem to start out stronger than they end. It's got a melody and chords, just needs a proper arrangement and the time to record (that's ACTUALLY the hardest part )

Good luck!