#1July 29th, 2006 · 07:51 AM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
Here and Now
Ummmm..my first post here:)...like to know what you guys think. Wrote these lyrics a few days ago....haven't gotten a clear melody just a vague picture of it. So...any ideas?
Very Happy



Someone once told me be careful what you wish for
Somehow it’s like opening a door
Seeking something but clueless of what’s in store
It’s a story that’s been told many times before
But somehow I chose to ignore

C:
But here and now
I see what they mean
I want to scream out loud
And whisper in my dream
It’s no one’s fault
What happened to me
I guess we all didn’t see

Sometimes I dream of a shining knight in armor
Riding a steed through the burning evil fire
Rescuing my soul locked up in a tower
It’s a dream so many have dreamt before
But somehow it’s not how it occurs

So why is it that things have gone so far?
If it’s all just gonna crumble and fall
Sweet things I’ll remember them all
Bitter? We’re just coming to it now
Like dark chocolate, isn’t it love?
If you forgive me at all….


28/07/2006
-aetherius copyrights reserved
 
#2July 29th, 2006 · 08:07 PM
44 threads / 6 songs
305 posts
United States of America
I like it, and I'll be interested to hear the finished song. How about for the end of the 2nd paragraph: "I guess we all didn’t see what's in store" because it feels kinda choppy right now. Keep it up man.

Cheers.
#3July 29th, 2006 · 10:40 PM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
yeah...i think so too. well, thanks!!
But I stilll dont have a clear melody though. Any ideas?
#4July 31st, 2006 · 04:08 PM
44 threads / 6 songs
305 posts
United States of America
You mean like a guitar riff?
#5August 5th, 2006 · 10:27 PM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
well...maybe but i still don't have a clear tune/melody for the whole song. just a vague idea of the tempo and such. This is a song I wrote with the lyrics first.
#6August 24th, 2006 · 02:35 AM
44 threads / 6 songs
305 posts
United States of America
I can't get past "Somehow it’s like opening a door". The lyrics are good, but they also have a few problems with flow (like I just cant come up with any melody to work with that line, it break the rest of the verse...needs some rephrasing.)
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