#1June 8th, 2010 · 10:13 PM
102 threads / 59 songs
204 posts
Canada
Nothin but Time
So this is still in production but I'm moderately pleased with it, it's hopefully going to be something of a country/folk song when completed but in the meantime here's what I've got.

Any comments/criticism is welcome, primarily I'm looking to completely redo the verses (the 5 line stanzas), I mostly just wrote something to sing between chorus's.

Crawlin' backwards and down through the hours,
Been like draggin' myself 'cross the floor. (alt. been diggin' my own early grave)
I got nothing behind me
And nowhere to turn
But I've faced these worries before.

So tell me you're willing
And tell me you're mine
Tell me that you're happy to stay.

We can be thankful
And ease up our minds.
And we can do nothing all day.

Well I'll wake up early
And I'll pay my dues
And try to remember your face.
But with you on my shoulder, it's all turnin' slower
And I'm getting used to the pace.

So tell me you're willing
And tell me you're mine
Tell me that you're happy to stay.

We can be thankful
And ease up our minds.
And we can do nothing all day.

So tell me you're willing
And I'll say amen
Tell me you love me today.

We can be happy
And we can get by
'Cause we aint got nothin' but time
We ain't got nothin' but time.
#2June 20th, 2010 · 06:17 PM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
I like the 'being dragged across the floor' bit
It reads well, I enjoyed the flow
Got a few thought for you though...
'But I've faced these worries before.' , worries could be a stronger word..to carry and close the first verse (torments?)
 'So tell me you're willing
And I'll say amen
Tell me you love me today' , maybe "I'll pay my shilling" would fit a little better than saying amen?
Especially since you did say you'd pay your dues!

What I like most are the three line stanzas
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