I count the time,
As you walk through the door and you smile,
It's just another night,
And your mind has been gone for a while

I tried to ignore it,
Tried to remember how you were before it,
Happened so soon,
I can remember,
You were happy last December,

And the night turns to day,
You get up,
Open your mouth but find nothing to say,
Go on with the day,
Pretending everything's ok

We tried to ignore it,
Tried to remember how we were before it,
But it happened so soon,
Like the sun went over the moon,
I can remember,
We were happy last December

Baby, its true,
Now i'm crying to you,
Counting the hours,
Picking your flowers,
Pretending to smile,
Because we're such cowards,
Even if our world has turned blue,
Baby, i know you'd be crying too

tell me what you think! it was a bit spur of the moment, but it's just what came to my mind.

Oh come on, out of everyone who has viewed this, someone must have something to say.

sounds like you've been married for a long time now. kinda sad, kinda frustrating but hopeful in understandings.

although I am not the one who talks about lyrics as I'm not that lyricist (I know why). But I can find myself and my world's sight in your words

hmmm I'm usually not commenting on lyrics because there's always a lot things to say, I could analyse them to tidbits and people tend to misinterpret analyses anyway.

But as you are eager for comments, I'll keep it simple.

You do a good job writing out your personal affairs (whether fictional or not), I am however skeptical on how they'd work in an actual song. Then again, I'm not a romanticist (at all whatsoever), and I'd fail to either write or appreciate a romantic/relationship-associated/love song anyway, so my opinion is moot when it comes to that (hence I would not comment).

Still would like to point you to a band I do appreciate, and a set of lyrics to a song that did something to me, if you get the chance check it out, as your words made me think of them immediately (not sure why ) check here

cheers

Thanks!
when i wrote this, i really wasnt writting about anything. i still have no idea what it's really about, but i just had all of these random lines that i really liked, such as the last verse

Baby it's true,
Now i'm crying to you,
Counting the hours,
Picking your flowers,
Pretending to smile,
Because we're such cowards,
Even if our world has turned blue,
Baby, i know you'd be crying too

i guess the song isnt really about a relationship. it's really about what ever the person who is reading it wants it to be about!

Why don't you try to record one of your songs?
You could make a nice song of this lyrics

I'm working on it!
It's a bit hard to record where i am, due to sound, but hopefully I'll get something up on here sometime!

Would be nice! Can you sing or play any instrument?

I like this a lot. I played around with the first 3 verses and came up with a short song that I'd be happy to send yo if you want to hear it. Send me a PM and I'd be happy to send you a copy.

I must have been away in May! 

This piece is quite good, in that I think it has some excellent lines and rhymes but also has ify bits.

I really the first one

I tried to ignore it,
Tried to remember how you were before it,
Happened so soon,
I can remember,
You were happy last December,

but I'm not into the soon and moon in the second.

Though it is again about a relationship I actually like your point of view of the subject in this one.

thank you Kings!