Stillborn love, it's the very first song text I've ever written. What do you think?

Go into the shadowns, stay there for a while
Hide your thoughts with your secret smile
Now between us seem an everlasting mile
Oh, crying wild

In my latest hours the only thing I see
Is the love of us that will never be
Wipe away the tear on the face of me
Oh, darkening we

Life these days seem oh so rough
What will I do with my stillborn love
Help me, forces high above
Stillborn love

Cover me with courage that never ends
Hope into the Hell descends
Where did you go, my trusted friends
The world seems filled with evil fiends

Wow, just the title is grounds for good lyrics. I like it, I'd like to hear how this turns out in a melody.

Love it man. Nice flow, good imagery. Go record it bro. You got a melody/harmony for it yet? I'd like to help with that if I can.

Thank you very much, I'm very glad you say so, although I got to confess I've got a dream of my own. It's about that I want to make music, not just music as soon as possible - I do find music fantastic and very, very exiting - but my dream is also about making music that does not only make people say "wauw, that sounds nice" and then they headbang or something like it, but also some music that somehow touches something inside people, moves something and creates feelings. Unfortuneately I haven't got the capacity for this yet, as I'm actually not very old, and my dream is not ending up like some solo singer/guitarist/whatever, but to be in a band. So therefore, thanks alot for the offer, but I'll let this lyric and others rest and wait until the time is right, and then start playing.

Thanks.

hey these are great...yeah i understand. I aint too old myself, and i've been deramin since I was 13 which is not thaaat long ago...to have band that teens can relate to, as I went through a tough stage then not knowing what to do. So yeah...

keep up the good work!