#1June 19th, 2006 · 10:04 PM
48 threads / 7 songs
429 posts
United States of America
Macbethís insanity plea
ok every one.......... this is suposed to have a techno feel to it, when i make the vocals, i figured why not make them a bit robotic and machanic? vox them up a bit? sooooooo any ways, i was wondering if this is a good idea or if im just compleatly insain?
let me know if you think this is a good idea or not with these lyrics.......... it's also suposed to be a bit repeditive............ like techno vocals.......... and im compleatly out of my element with this so any crit, and or aprovel will great! thaks all

-the one the only paperdoll




Is it anger?
Is it fear?
Will it cause hate?
Will I shed tears?

Diagnosing it incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death

My demise will be that of Macbethís

What is this sickness I possess?
Will I be condemned?
Or will I be blessed?
What is this sickness I dare not address
This sickness that has been awakened
This sickness that I detest

Diagnosing it incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death

My demise will be that of Macbethís


Itís eating me from the inside out
I hope this is not what loves about
This sickness consumes me day in and day out
This will be my end with out a doubt
 
Diagnosing it incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death

My demise will be that of Macbethís
#2June 20th, 2006 · 05:04 AM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,066 posts
Netherlands
I think they'll sit nicely in a techno tune, when done in a robotic/mechanical/monotonous way, sure.

I think this can even lead to a pretty catchy track too (to underground people's ears )

Because - they're generic (they could mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people) but also refer to classical literature (Shakespeare preffered over By. Spears)


So, yeah

Put some fruity loops to it, you'll have your tune in no time!
#3June 20th, 2006 · 09:45 AM
34 threads / 17 songs
581 posts
Canada
Okay...I like this alot.  I only have a few changes to suggest...they are in blue below (delete means I have just deleted a word):

Is it anger?
Is it fear?
Will it cause hate?
Will I shed tears?

Diagnosing delete incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death

My demise will be that of Macbethís

What is this sickness I possess?
Will I be condemned?
delete Will I be blessed?
What is this sickness I dare not address
This sickness that has been awakened
This sickness that I detest

Diagnosing it incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death


My demise will be that of Macbethís


Itís eating me from the inside out
I hope this is not what loves about
This sickness consumes me day in, (delete)  day out
This will be my end no doubt
 
Diagnosing it incorrectly,
And applying the wrong remedy
Will cause certain death

My demise will be that of Macbethís

These are only my suggestions...that I make without completely knowing what you've got in mind for music...so, take'em or leave'em!
 
#4June 21st, 2006 · 10:45 PM
91 threads / 11 songs
881 posts
United States of America
Wow! I LIKE these lyrics! The lyric content comes off (IMO) as portraying intense emotion. They are personal....and tortured....and, for those reasons, I like them. I also agree with Spoon's suggestions, as the corrections provide a better flow/timing.
#5July 16th, 2006 · 06:50 PM
159 threads / 32 songs
1,956 posts
United States of America
thoughts
yeah these lyrics work for me too. I'm terrible at lyrics but these seem real good as lyrics for a song or just as a poem. Very thought provoking. I really like the line about  the love thing because sometimes love can seem like torturous death. Ah hell what do I know.
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