#1August 30th, 2009 · 06:48 AM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
Labyrinthine
so ummm if anyone at all remembers me, it's aetherius who used to haunt the lyrics forum.
It's been a long while indeed. I've been writing more poetry stuff than songs. But I'll post them up just to see what you think of em.



Labyrinthine


Have I invited you in
this twisted labyrinth
of internal monologue
for your eyes to be unfogged?

Would you be able to swim
in a sea of words, dive in
to an eternal episode
of the sky giving into flood?

If you look into these pages
of arteries, veins, and nerves
would you be able to wrap a bandage
around a wounded verse?

for I'm Labyrinthine
pouring pieces of my mind
painting a landscape of words to form
a calm before a storm.



feel free to suggest sounds/arrangement/whatever
#2September 30th, 2009 · 12:02 PM
181 threads / 54 songs
1,930 posts
Canada
I really like this!!!

You envoke a great feeling when the person reads this. Excellent use of descriptions and the last verse really seals the deal.

The only thing I could think to add would be to add it to some music. It could be sung in a way that would totally work.
#3November 21st, 2009 · 11:31 AM
24 threads
319 posts
Malaysia
thanks!

i don't really have a solid idea as to how the music to this would sound, though. I have a bunch of ideas, yet they aren't cohesive and i can't seem to decide
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