I''l be honest.....I think the whole piece is a bit too much of a story...and this ...and then that, and I cant get a clear hold on the story either..................but I think you could write a book and produce the film based on the one line "it's about time you realize that your lives are intertwined"....... very nice line  That's worth copyrighting  !

its pretty good.
i like the whole thing about rising to the sky and lives being intertwined.

i do have to ask though, is it about something?
or did you just come up with it in your weird mind 

it's good. I like how it can connect to the audience pretty well. It's easy to understand, not much of mystery, but it's all good, it hooks the ppl. easily. Man... that's crazy and cool at the same time the fact that you copyright your stuff. Yes I agree with kings, it is worth copyrighting it