| The Electric Bard |
Inspired by Bob Dylan's electric guitar and the movie I am not here
Shape shifting through clockworks,
Philosophizing disgrace
Somebody's deluded god,
roams without a face
Don't surround with your sound
Let me groove on my own
I love you jude, I love you so,
Just come on home
I am chained by the promises
Of freedom's you would not give
Haunted by the meanings
of the lives I have lived
Don't surround with your sound
Let me groove on my own
I love you jude, I love you so,
Just come on home
Shape shifting through clockworks,
Philosophizing disgrace
Somebody's deluded god,
roams without a face
Don't surround with your sound
Let me groove on my own
I love you jude, I love you so,
Just come on home
I am chained by the promises
Of freedom's you would not give
Haunted by the meanings
of the lives I have lived
Don't surround with your sound
Let me groove on my own
I love you jude, I love you so,
Just come on home
I like this a lot.....not necessarily in the structure it is now in...but I like the 'song' that it could lead too.
The first two lines are too complicated and too strong imo 'Shape shifting through time' sounds corny but fits a little better, I dont understand 'Philosophizing disgrace' , because if it's about 'Jude' I dont think Jude would philosophize about disgrace. (Shame is a pitiful human emotion forced upon you by another human!)
The rest of it I really like , you use simpler, more common words, structured normally and all of a sudden the meaning within them becomes very deep.
If I were writing this I'd probably go off on one with the chorus, like 'Don't surround with your sound...' , then the next chorus change it to 'Don't bind me with you're rhymes....' or 'Don't try to waste me with your words...'.
Really love the idea "Dont be stupid...I love you"
The first two lines are too complicated and too strong imo 'Shape shifting through time' sounds corny but fits a little better, I dont understand 'Philosophizing disgrace' , because if it's about 'Jude' I dont think Jude would philosophize about disgrace. (Shame is a pitiful human emotion forced upon you by another human!)
The rest of it I really like , you use simpler, more common words, structured normally and all of a sudden the meaning within them becomes very deep.
If I were writing this I'd probably go off on one with the chorus, like 'Don't surround with your sound...' , then the next chorus change it to 'Don't bind me with you're rhymes....' or 'Don't try to waste me with your words...'.
Really love the idea "Dont be stupid...I love you"
kings wrote…
I like this a lot.....not necessarily in the structure it is now in...but I like the 'song' that it could lead too.
The first two lines are too complicated and too strong imo 'Shape shifting through time' sounds corny but fits a little better, I dont understand 'Philosophizing disgrace' , because if it's about 'Jude' I dont think Jude would philosophize about disgrace. (Shame is a pitiful human emotion forced upon you by another human!)
The rest of it I really like , you use simpler, more common words, structured normally and all of a sudden the meaning within them becomes very deep.
If I were writing this I'd probably go off on one with the chorus, like 'Don't surround with your sound...' , then the next chorus change it to 'Don't bind me with you're rhymes....' or 'Don't try to waste me with your words...'.
Really love the idea "Dont be stupid...I love you" :razz:
thnks for reading. I will work on it and post another version.Sorry, you do not have access to post...
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