I recently wrote a new song, I have some ideas for music but haven't recorded anything yet.

I did use the lyrics in this little project:

Watch the lyrics in action!

and they go like this:

SOMEONE

your face
your waist
your hips
your gait

your breath
your voice
your scent
your choice

you give yourself
to someone else

your eyes
your lips
your hands
your wrists

your cheeks
your tongue
your legs
so long!

go give yourself
to someone else

Ha. Dare i ask...How did you come up with this? Well...nevertheless....only advice i can give is, it seems kinda short or like something is missing... all i can say is either throw in a longer chorus and./or a few more verses and maybe a bridge i dunno. Work around with it and youll get it right.

Thanks

Sometimes too many words ruin the idea, but ofcourse I could repeat the choruses multiple times, depending on what music I'm going to use on it. I just now played a couple of things that are suitable and fun, and yes maybe I'll write a bit of context around it, an intro verse perhaps. But this will definately be the core of the final product.

I posted them mainly because wrote something I don't instantly reject, which has been the fate of any lyrics attempt I've made in the past few years. And I used them in the silly video...

Very good...will make an excellent song,
Since being at bandAmp I've come to the same conclusion, a song doesn't need too many complicated words and concepts and a good song 'speaks for it's self' , it will awaken the ideas and images in the play between music and words.
Though I hate this idea completely because I love lots of complicated words and concepts.....

These lyrics are so very you PX lol, all they need is a radio distortion and the wickedest industrial punk track.
Waiting in anticipation.

Yeah. You're right. A song doesn't need too many words to make it a good song. And I'm no lyric wizard (otherwise that would be my name ). So i hope you didn't consider re-writing the whole thing just because of what i said lol. Just giving my opinion on songs that i like, which as Kings said, Have lots of complicated words and all that jazz. But anyways it could still be a good song as it is. So you, know depending what vibe it has or what instruments are in it is what i would think would decide what you do with it after this point. Hope it comes together well.

hay this is pretty cool man!! i like this yo, it's like really simple., but it put like so many images into my head! haha am i correct in guessing that this is about a "social" type of girl??     LOL
cool stuff bro, keep it up

Simple but yet to the point is perfect for any song. Of course you wrote these words from a personal or several personal life experiences which is awesome. Always remember the person listening to these words will relate in their own way. I know I do and  these lyrics are excellent ^5 *all the way  bro!
~ peace
Fid

i like it

Simple is good...what type of accompaniment were you thinking of pairing with this?  I could hear a sort of Cure meets Depeche Mode, meets Ramstein - 

Thanks all, and yeah I attempt to write lyrics so that people can read their own thoughts and images in it. Ofcourse personal experience is involved, it always is with everyone anyway.

And yeah, spoon - I suppose that's more or less what it will sound like. So far I've created a couple of electronic patterns but I'm not satisfied yet. Right now I'm toying with my new Tascam US1641 which allows me to fully digitize my old analog multitrack tapes and I'm being very much inspired by hearing all my old crap back.. lol.

I've also given the lyrics to the singer of my band, and we'll (multitrack) record some jams real soon so there may be something interesting up ahead! I'll keep you posted