#1February 7th, 2006 · 06:38 PM
117 threads / 88 songs
256 posts
United Kingdom
'Lady Liberty'
I've had these lyrics for months and months and months, and I just havn't got a clue what to do with them. None of the music I've written fits with it, and the lyrics are just stuck in this state. If it offends anyone, Im sorry.

Synthetic hearts buy into,
The egotistic dream,
A land fed by the 'lesser men',
Behind a patriotic screen.
You're fighting for you're freedom,
A sugar-coated lie,
The citezen, The Patriot
Does not dare to question why.
Loyalty or ignorance?
Its hard for us to tell.
Its hard to us to see through,
The stars and stripes draped over hell.
But I am not a terrorist,
I am not a saint,
And I am not a citezen,
Gone mad under restraint.
I am an observer,
I watch through sympathetic eyes,
And I watch Lady Liberty,
As she grows frail and dies.

Whaddya think I should do with it?
#2February 8th, 2006 · 12:08 PM
160 threads / 88 songs
1,666 posts
United States of America
Sounds like a great punk/rage type song... maybe PuppetXeno can help come up with something good to go along with it... I know it is right up his alley....  Although might I add, that this country though the government has been in decline for sometime, It's citizens are not all egotistical and arrogant....Also this country is not without it's good points...   and this administration will soon be over... Perhaps the next will restore some glory to her name....   this is all we can hope....   :-)  This is what I pray....

                                JimK

No offense taken here....   vivent la musique pas la politique (live the music not the politics)
#3February 10th, 2006 · 07:18 AM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
These have a nice catch to them - the last 8 lines

    "But I am not a terrorist,
    I am not a saint,
    And I am not a citizen,
    Gone mad under restraint.
    I am an observer,
    I watch through sympathetic eyes,
    And I watch Lady Liberty,
    As she grows frail and dies."

are particularly good  (apart from the spelling mistake that you have in there, which I've changed above!) underpinning a nice political statement that's implied through the rest of the song.

Yes, these aren't your usual type of lyrics, but I bet you could come up with something with grit to put them to!  It's interesting that you say
PorcelainDoll wrote…
None of the music I've written fits with it, and the lyrics are just stuck in this state
if that's the case, then write music to the lyrics instead of trying to find something that fits.
#4February 13th, 2006 · 01:56 PM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,071 posts
Netherlands
I love it, these are great lyrics. Didn't find any weird anomalies whatsoever - it's very to the point.

JimK... are you my agent now? That would be cool...

well I only just now took the liberty to try out something and instantly came up with fitting music. D#m7 for like each first three lines and then Dm7 for the 4th line.

And did that all the time, (with added instrumentals it wouldn't be repetitive), and for the

"But I am not a terrorist,
I am not a saint,
And I am not a citezen,
Gone mad under restraint."

in which I did a fast swingy E / A thingie... but well... that's just one way of doing it

I think you should keep with suspense... dylanish protest song type... not rage, not doom... but please don't let me contaminate your PorcelainDollishness... You do what you think is suitable...
#5February 13th, 2006 · 04:42 PM
42 threads / 1 songs
556 posts
United States of America
I like the attitude, like indifference. But then it doesn't really fit the name.
#6February 13th, 2006 · 06:15 PM
117 threads / 55 songs
1,541 posts
Chile
That's true, name doesn't fits, but lyrics are cool.
Try to make some music to this... will be waiting.

      > Iszil
#7February 17th, 2006 · 12:13 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
Iszil & Oldies wrote…
doesn't really fit the name

I disagree very much.  Ok on the surface it doesn't appear as though the name fits, but these are lyrics with a very strong cynical feel to them.  Having a touch of sarcasm to the title is spot on as far as I'm concerned!
#8February 17th, 2006 · 01:27 PM
117 threads / 54 songs
3,071 posts
Netherlands
Figurehead
ditto! it's the only fitting title and has masses of appeal bc Lady Liberty is US' Figurehead
#9February 20th, 2006 · 11:28 AM
115 threads / 18 songs
1,414 posts
United States of America
i randomly kind of hear a music style like Yellowcard's new song "Lights and Sounds", specifically, during the bridge of the yellowcard song.

i really like the way the words fit together, Doll   i wanna see you go somewhere in life with this stuff

aih.  the name fits fine.  it fits because it's sarcasm and it's supposed to not fit.  i'm sick of names that work TOO well that they're unoriginal. 

Xenoboy, you've got the ability to help out   go for it, if PD wants you to, hehe.  i think you're a good bet.

as for your original question, PorcelainDoll, i think that you should chase after making this song.  who cares if it's different than the other stuff?  i don't.  if you do it right then you do it right.  put on your mask for this one and make it, whether it's punk/rage style, emo, or with the softer touch of your other songs, like ChinaDoll.  my initial thought was something along the lines of a rapidfire, powerchord-strung ballad about Lady Liberty.  personally, i'm a fan of miss liberty, and i can't say that every line is saying it the way i feel about egotistic people and the such.  BUT, there's probably no single song on earth that has the sound agree-ance of the entire world.  music is about your point of view, when it comes to the lyrics.  anyway, i'll shut up now. i'm just rambling.

you don't need a lecture    i say that you try to get into some sort of duo again and produce this one.  whether it's with Xenoboy or someone else, i'm indifferent, but if you think you can't produce the music style by yourself, pull someone else into it. just get the job done
#10March 3rd, 2006 · 04:51 PM
17 threads / 16 songs
148 posts
United States of America
Huh! I'm totally out of touch with most of the others on this one. Setting this to some raging punk psuedo-anthem would do it an injustice. It's been done to death and unless you buy the CD so you can read what the lyrics are, you're pretty much left to fill in the blanks on your own if you do a standard punk mix. I'm with Puppetxeno and Tonightslastsong - make this yours.
A Jazzy kind of groove works for me. You might want to go full-bore into the folk thing or something else. I don't know, but I think if you go to the trouble to inject your lyrics with compelling imagery and political comment, you shouldnt set them in some cliche punk tune. As to the name, what the hell else would you call it?
 look forward to seeing where you go with this.
#11March 11th, 2006 · 05:07 PM
4 posts
United States of America
OI! OI! OI!
#12April 24th, 2006 · 12:34 AM
8 threads / 7 songs
30 posts
United States of America
Lady Liberty
These are wonderful lyrics. I'm glad I stumbled upon them. I love songs with passion, artistically expressed. This is a great example.
#13May 2nd, 2006 · 04:42 PM
46 threads / 33 songs
179 posts
United States of America
I like parts of it. I dont know, as plain poetry there is a something left to be desired. But then again it might sound great. It started off well in fact good. Then seems you either lost thread of thoughts or maybe you wrote in two sittings. Frankly it sounds real promising, but if I were you I would get into that angry mode again and redraft it.
#14June 8th, 2006 · 11:37 PM
48 threads / 7 songs
429 posts
United States of America
hey person
i must say that i am your number one fan, but also as an american i must say you have to be nice to us, even though you may not agree with our country im not al patriaotic and stuff and im not that into p. bush, but if you must bash our nation, bash the rest of em to. other  than that your an amazing writer and i look forword to hearing your latest work
paper-thin
paper-doll
#15June 9th, 2006 · 04:38 AM
21 threads
235 posts
United Kingdom
.....what?

PUNK?!?!?
I agree with alerion on this one. I like punk, quite a bit on occasions. Yet I feel that punk has been political for too long. I'm tired of it cause it doesn't quite match up to Sex Pistols style political punk. That's proper punk hat is. Not this Greenday stuff. Though, as I said, I do waver towards that sort of stuff on occasions but it's already been done and done a lot recently.

Maybe if you did some Old Skool punk, that'd be sweet. Give it a bit of an American punk twist but find some one with that Sex Pistolesque voice to rant about it. Maybe wack a metal solo in to it. I've been wondering what that would sound like a lot recently. Metal solo, Dragonforce style, wacked in the middle of a old skool mixed with new skool punk track.
Actually, if you don't do any of this I will

But no, I don't think you should do a Rise Against/Greenday stylie with this one. Please do something more original to get the point across.
I don't mind attempting to write a solo for you
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