#1January 28th, 2006 · 03:53 PM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
A Lighter Shade of Blue
One that was written today - the music's sort of in my head for this one, but no where near a stage for recording.  I thought I'd look for constructive criticism for the lyrics.  It's not too difficult to guess what they're about

Iíve been thinking lately about the things
That you often say
Of how you never seem to get
Any time, any day
And when I look in your eyes
To get the measure of you
You seem not quite happy, yet not quite sad
More like a lighter shade of blue

Now as you lay there tired, relaxed
Finished for the day
Your face supports a contented smile
That rarely goes away
Though closed, I still see in your eyes
Contentment in what you do
Not really sad, not really happy
Still that lighter shade of blue

Always, and always you make the time
For others - well thatís what you do!
And never, well, hardly ever
does anyone do the same for you.

I love your eyes, yes, and your smile
They define the very you
Not quite happy, but not quite sad
Just a lighter shade of blue.


Comments welcome, as ever.
Jim
#2January 29th, 2006 · 08:14 AM
37 threads / 25 songs
237 posts
United States of America
jim ...sounds like you have been married awhile congrats
sounds to me like she is 100% women and your a lucky man. in form the lyrics read ready to be put to music. if i may ?
i always get caught up in ryhme...trying to make it ..how can i say sylably corrrect(spellck)
you know what i mean make the lyrics flow properly and in doing this i feel restricted
back to your song..reads good ...love the the catch phrase / lighter shade of blue/
good work jim...now finish what you have started!

ps
gonna post right behind ya a card. poem. letter whatever it is i wrote for my wife yesterday
on our anniversery...please reciprocate
Buzz
 
#3February 10th, 2006 · 07:23 AM
54 threads / 29 songs
1,552 posts
United Kingdom
Yes Buzz, I've been married a while.......

Actually, although my wife liked the lyrics she also said that it made her feel a bit funny that I see her this way - in so doing, she perfectly expressed what I meant in the lyrics!!!

Work is progressing on writing the music to this.  Well, it's written but I just haven't had the time to record any more than a basic (and not very well played) acoustic version.  I'll have to listen to it a few times and decide where I want it to go.
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