Thought I'd put myself up for humiliation and post one of my old song lyrics.  This was written back in the stone age when I still had hair!

The anthropomorphic clock
says its words ("tick tock")
and the whole world stops to turn the other way.
"What's that?" She says
as the mountain falls
but it's nothing, just today come back again

All our yesterdays rush back to us
and show us our old mistakes.
But then we were young, foolish, unwise...

Once bitten, twice shy, three times a fool!

"Stop this nonsense" cries the clock
"I've had enough, I'm going home"
"wind my forwards, push me in front,
"forget the past, this is today"

Your comments will, no doubt, let me have a good laugh at myself!

hey, i really like the title.  it's not stretching too hard, yet it's not another one-word title like the rest of the entire music world thinks titles should be.  very nice

i really like the lines

"What's that?" She says
as the mountain falls
but it's nothing, just today come back again

specifically, the "but it's nothing" part--it just sounds good

Hard to tell if these are good lyrics, so far it is a decent poetry.  Sung poetry makes lyrics.  From Merriam-Webster Dictionary: "lyric, i.e. the words of a song -- often used in plural".  (Sorry for being so anal).

Oftentimes lyrics send shivers down my spine, (p. ex., don't laugh it is the first thing that came to mind, "Werewolves of London" by W. Zevon), however, when laid down on paper they turn into an OK poetry and no more.  (Same thing, very often, with hip hop lyrics they are great fun and witty when rapped, but nothing special when printed).  The poem that you posted can turn into great lyrics, but it is hard to tell until we hear them in a song.  Regards.

agreed... i often find that the best poetry doesn't usually make for good songs and that often the best song lyrics don't make very impressive poetry. I've known some amazing writers and poets and I know some still and often straight spoken poetry doesn't have the verse phrasing, meter or rhythm conducive to putting to a song. Often times lyrics to songs are so simple that they're perfect when sung with the added emotion of music but they loose some value when the emotion and underlying direction of the song is removed.

with all that said, it is certainly possible to write some amazing poetry and have it be a great song...

example: Bob Dylan... check out "It's a Hard Rain's Gonna Fall"

When I write lyrics, in almost every case I do it with a melody in my head.  Then I can just muck about and try to see what instrumental arrangement suits the melody.

Sometimes (as in the case of these lyrics) I never get to sort out the backing, and so the words remain poetry to a melody just for me!!

There are a few occasions when I've written lyrics specifically to the music that others have created - I find that harder to do for some reason.

That being said - sometimes what I write is decent poetry, that stands alone.  Other times it's been absolute trash. 

Thanks for your comments guys.  Always nice to get feedback

Jim

I dont see anything to laugh about here Jim...I like the direction of the lyrics....Mostly after the first verse...this could pan out to be something...have you ever added music to this ?

Ralph_Flyer

i dont think ive ever heard a song with the word anthropomorphic in it! id say this would make a strange little ditty if you ever made it. do.

yeah its a wierd word..dont you know it???

well really good lyrics i must say...
you are like and legal representative of the CLOCK...
hehe...