#1December 28th, 2005 · 09:24 AM
10 threads / 7 songs
23 posts
Love lies bleeding
She's lost in herself and she cries
there ain't a day I see no tears in her eyes
The sweetest strawberry I'll ever met
All those words she needs to forget

Will they ever let her be
Her tears been created is what they don't see
She's the most perfect around
But they never looked away from the ground

They don't know who you are,when I look into your eyes I feel so far
But I feel you so close,I'm at a graveyard and you're a rose

She didn't do something wrong
But still I wrote this song
'Cause she feels so sad deep inside
And you don't see the tears she hides

You all are the reason he eyes are dead
Every night's she lies there crying in bed
A place where no one could feel the thorn
Something beautiful that's been loved when she was born

They don't know who you are,when I look into your eyes I feel so far
But I feel you so close,I'm at a graveyard and you're a rose

You all don't seem to know
That she brings roses out of the snow
Children and I we love her but she doesn't feel
The difference between the fake and the real

Of a good life she's the seed
But you all make her inside to bleed
She felt alone of the words that are said
And what would you do if you'll find her dead

It may be soft but i wrote it because the girl where the lyric is about was sad from somethings what people did to her and i wanted to make that feeling go away and I wrote a song but if you have some good ideas I would love to hear them
#2December 28th, 2005 · 12:49 PM
13 threads / 1 songs
408 posts
United States of America
Really nice title. It makes me want to hear the song (or in this case read the lyrics). This is an extremely sweet song, very simple and conveys a thoughtful point. I really like the parrallel between the girl being a seed that can grow in the winter or graveyard, it's really strong imagery. Just a few English grammatical errors, but nothing big, besides, I'm assuming English isn't your first language. And with that I'm impressed, and I look forward to hearing the song.
#3December 29th, 2005 · 04:15 AM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,086 posts
Can't add much to what Creative said - I only hope you have a good instrumental backing for the chorus: (I believe that's the chorus)

They don't know who you are, when I look into your eyes I feel so far
But I feel you so close, I'm at a graveyard and you're a rose

... that there's a pause between feel you so close and I'm at a graveyard...

so that the observer has a second or two to adapt to receive the sudden strong visual reference. I hope you know what I mean, because I think that graveyard line of the chorus depicts the clue to what's been described without strong visual symbolism earlier on in the song. And about strong visual symbolism: the sweetest strawberry - must be a puffy redhead then?

The final two verses are the strongest, IMO. They are really good, very poetic. Great pay-off.

I think it's a lovely lyric. I hope the girl it was written for will feel the same and gets a confidence boost out of it.
#4December 29th, 2005 · 09:14 AM
10 threads / 7 songs
23 posts
thanks for the compliments I didn't expect that... For the English grammatical errors my first language is dutch normally our drummer checks the lyric to find some errors but with this lyric he didn't do that yet and tough still there can be errors because his first langauge is french.
And for the music well it ain't finished yet we have our chords and drums but we're looking for some good notes otherwise the song would be boring.
#5March 17th, 2006 · 08:04 PM
3 posts
United States of America
wow, this is great.!
I'm at a graveyard and you're a rose
i like it.
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