#1December 21st, 2005 · 05:25 AM
48 threads / 41 songs
144 posts
New Zealand
Second Post :D
Ok, I thought I'd share with you this weeeeird new song I've written. Great melody, 3 minute acoustic intro. Weird vocal shifts. And bixarre rhyming pattern. See if you can make any sense of this :P It's 'untitled' at the moment.


Everyday I wake to find the shadow of a man a lot like me,
Clinging to the wallpapered to walls of fear and insecurity,
Offering a hand for me to hold.

The magnet is pulling me deeper into the womb,
Of this crazy apparition that is fishing for the chance to fill the room,
But I won't subscribe,
To this lengthy diatribe,
That is fighting tired.

Wait for the *crash* cymbal,
Wait for the bit where you fall down,
Wait for the canned laughter,
'Cause one foul move,
And you could end up soothed,
By the mouths that made the sound.

They offered me confidence,
And along came the turbulence,
'Guess that was my consequence,
At the time.

And along came another day,
Another word,
Another face,
Another way,
To understand the choice I made.

But I won't disappear,
Before you,
Disappear.

Regret not one, but all, but some,
These truths accrue,
To rue
The day they grew,
To become...

What they are.

And what they are,
Are parasites on lies.

they adhese themselves,
to please themselves.

And suck the spirits dry.

Still...

Everyday I wake to find the shadow of a man a lot like me.



- Chester
#2December 21st, 2005 · 04:28 PM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,081 posts
Netherlands
re: Second Post :D
OK going through this step by step, to begin with. Commenting by whatever comes to mind, if that's ok with you

Everyday I wake to find the shadow of a man a lot like me,
Clinging to the wallpapered to walls of fear and insecurity,
Offering a hand for me to hold.


This makes sense. What I feel with this (first associations) you are either talking about a father figure, or yourself, being not all you can be, because of obstructions -

The magnet is pulling me deeper into the womb,
Of this crazy apparition that is fishing for the chance to fill the room,
But I won't subscribe,
To this lengthy diatribe,
That is fighting tired.


You are arguing with the father figure, but you're not planning to buckle. Father figure wants to convince you of safety in the trodden path (pulling you into the womb), but his overwhelming presence makes you nervous.

Wait for the *crash* cymbal,
Wait for the bit where you fall down,
Wait for the canned laughter,
'Cause one foul move,
And you could end up soothed,
By the mouths that made the sound.


Where's the clue to the father figure's arguments?
You know he's gonna flunk.
You know he's gonna joke.
But you can easily step into the trap,
because you're used to doing that.

in other words, Always trying to think a couple of steps ahead, or you'll find yourself walking the trodden path instead. geez I can rhyme too!

They offered me confidence,
And along came the turbulence,
'Guess that was my consequence,
At the time.


It IS about your parents!

And along came another day,
Another word,
Another face,
Another way,
To understand the choice I made.


you have sniffed the diversity of the world, and other people with different ideas are interesting to you aswell. The world is waiting for you...

But I won't disappear,
Before you,
Disappear.


Talking to the father figure? It's hard to understand what you mean without the melody and intonation. Will you disappear when they do, or will you wait till they go first, and then take off yourself? Or will you not disappear in front of them, kindly wishing them to leave? (no offense, it's just hard to make out what you mean with this, it could mean different things)

Regret not one, but all, but some,
These truths accrue,
To rue
The day they grew,
To become...

What they are.


Grateful for what they are, and make of you, the complexity of growing up, like they had undergone, and they know, and so do you. ?

And what they are,
Are parasites on lies.

they adhese themselves,
to please themselves.

And suck the spirits dry.


The nature of man... we all just hop along for the ride. Very complex oedipal structures if this (and it has to) relates to the earlier parts of your text; basically it comes down to seeing "them" as beasts that you'd rather not focus too much on, and better let be for what they are, as they are more involved with being what they are already, after all. All part of the "letting go". Although I'm not reading a lot of respect for "them".


Still...

Everyday I wake to find the shadow of a man a lot like me.


And then you're back... this time, finding yourself, not quite being the one you want to be... just yet... Still growing up / growing as a person (don't we all? )

Ok that's about what I can read in your lines, I hope it's any help, I've tried to find cohesion in the lyrics as a whole, although thusfar what I've heard from you, and the imagery that comes with it has a hypnotic effect, probably because it utilizes words and phrasings that link into the deepest of human nature, without the so called "image transmission" of fairly direct descriptions of factual physical actions (like 'I woke up this morning and got out of bed, I looked in the mirror, had pain in my head' would be a fairly direct description of a physical action that one can clearly visualise)

PX
#3December 21st, 2005 · 10:48 PM
13 threads / 1 songs
408 posts
United States of America
re: re: Second Post :D
PuppetXeno wrote…
Very complex oedipal structures if this (and it has to) relates to the earlier parts of your text; basically it comes down to seeing "them" as beasts that you'd rather not focus too much on, and better let be for what they are, as they are more involved with being what they are already, after all. All part of the "letting go". Although I'm not reading a lot of respect for "them".

I don't necessarily think it has to be about his parents. Although I do see the parallel. Obviously, I might find it hard to relate because I have not had much experience in "complex oedipal structures" (I think it is more of a father-son issue) but I certainly don't want to be exclusive or unimaginative in another's imagery.

But could it be about the battle of self-will? Maybe the images are of good-willed friends who can't give good advice? And by "self-will" I mean, what you are doing and what you know you should be doing (the shadow).
Or you are doing the right thing, but want to do the wrong thing and the shadow could be a depiction of a conscience (conscience being defined by what you think is right and wrong, what your parents think is right and wrong, and what culture defines as right and wrong).
A battle between choice and regret...
I dunno, just a thought...


PuppetXeno wrote…
'I woke up this morning and got out of bed, I looked in the mirror, had pain in my head'
You too?
#4December 22nd, 2005 · 06:18 AM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,081 posts
Netherlands
re: re: re: Second Post :D
CreativeControl wrote…
I don't necessarily think it has to be about his parents.
...

But could it be about the battle of self-will? Maybe the images are of good-willed friends who can't give good advice? And by "self-will" I mean, what you are doing and what you know you should be doing (the shadow).
...
A battle between choice and regret...
I dunno, just a thought...

No you're right, it doesn't have to be about his parents, I used the "father figure" archetype to depict authority and dominance, but also support / advice. So it could be about any social structure in which the first person isn't taking the lead, but subject to that of others, or something else (could be his conscience). Not taking the lead, finding comfort in that, but it's become too predictable, too much same old stuff different day, so there's a strong urge to go a different direction, to step out of the shadow.

I think it's more like a battle between staying or going.... choices...

maybe this:

And what they are,
Are parasites on lies.

they adhese themselves,
to please themselves.

And suck the spirits dry.


is a way of describing plain disappointment in the social group, the emptiness of primal drives, and the first person rising above that to not become an airheaded zombie too...


yea.. same old stuff, different day
#5December 22nd, 2005 · 11:56 AM
13 threads / 1 songs
408 posts
United States of America
hehehe...ummm...I think this has turned into more of a literature class than lyrics review. Which is probably a good thing I always enjoy a intellectually stimulating conversation involving music. 
Until...Educated comes back and says, "What are you two smoking! It's just a song for enjoyment and pleasure! Nothing more!" 

Seriously, I completely understand what you're saying, Pup. I figured you were going in the parental direction as an option. It's all about perception of the choices we have that will decide what choices we'll make. Do we really have choices at all? Are there any coincedences? What is the meaning of life? Maybe that will tie you up for a little while.
#6December 22nd, 2005 · 01:19 PM
118 threads / 55 songs
3,081 posts
Netherlands
can't resist...
CreativeControl wrote…
What is the meaning of life? Maybe that will tie you up for a little while.

Not Really just wait until the featured blogs are *really* up...
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