| Unmeasured Suffering |
I am the founder of this new-born hate
Chaos, destruction and the fabric of pain
You toy with my mind you make me go insane
I'm leaving now I'm tired of playing your game
Chorus:
You did this to me Take the pain away
You did this to me I give you this blade
You did this to me Take my life away
You did this to me:
No matter what I can't feel numb
I cut myself for the one that you love
I feel sick, intolerant, impatient
Death is the one thing that I can't wait for
:Chorus:
If I had to I would die for you
Death is simpler then life with you
You're the one for me I can't deny
Lets go to sleep now lets not be alive
:Chorus: x2
Chaos, destruction and the fabric of pain
You toy with my mind you make me go insane
I'm leaving now I'm tired of playing your game
Chorus:
You did this to me Take the pain away
You did this to me I give you this blade
You did this to me Take my life away
You did this to me:
No matter what I can't feel numb
I cut myself for the one that you love
I feel sick, intolerant, impatient
Death is the one thing that I can't wait for
:Chorus:
If I had to I would die for you
Death is simpler then life with you
You're the one for me I can't deny
Lets go to sleep now lets not be alive
:Chorus: x2
| unvarnished |
This is a weird mix of originality and cliche.
These original and compelling lines:
"I am the founder of this new-born hate
Chaos, destruction and the fabric of pain"
are followed by the cliche:
You toy with my mind you make me go insane
I'm leaving now I'm tired of playing your game
The chorus isn't compelling enough. To me, the chorus just says, this is a dark, suicidal song of lost love, you've heard it all before.
Then there is this very nice rhythm, rhyme and imagery:
If I had to I would die for you
Death is simpler then life with you
Too bad the first of those two lines is such a cliche, because the second works, rocks and is even a little bit profound.
This can be improved, and it would be worth the effort.
These original and compelling lines:
"I am the founder of this new-born hate
Chaos, destruction and the fabric of pain"
are followed by the cliche:
You toy with my mind you make me go insane
I'm leaving now I'm tired of playing your game
The chorus isn't compelling enough. To me, the chorus just says, this is a dark, suicidal song of lost love, you've heard it all before.
Then there is this very nice rhythm, rhyme and imagery:
If I had to I would die for you
Death is simpler then life with you
Too bad the first of those two lines is such a cliche, because the second works, rocks and is even a little bit profound.
This can be improved, and it would be worth the effort.
| UMMM.... |
Chris......i kno that the whole deep thought writing is a thing with you...but if you honestly feel this way about someone you kinda need to let them kno...cuz this train of thinking is really "odd"........
Just thought i ought to tell you that~
Sarah~*~
Just thought i ought to tell you that~
Sarah~*~
Mama, Just killed a man , put a gun against his head , pulled my trigger, now he's dead!
Sahara maybe Reaper is just projecting himself, gathering from different experiences, different people, different ideas and being all dark and ghouly about it !!??
Remember he is in the dark so there's not much else to see! Hens finding the light!!!
Reaper are you sure your in the right body ?
This piece sounds like a male digging a very female (emotional) hole for himself !!!
Sahara maybe Reaper is just projecting himself, gathering from different experiences, different people, different ideas and being all dark and ghouly about it !!??
Remember he is in the dark so there's not much else to see! Hens finding the light!!!
Reaper are you sure your in the right body ?
This piece sounds like a male digging a very female (emotional) hole for himself !!!
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