#1May 25th, 2008 · 10:09 AM
339 threads / 59 songs
4,328 posts
United Kingdom
There’s an unseen spirit
A poem, song, story, moments in time......
I've had an idea for a video in my head for a long time and I know how it should sound as a song,
It's one of my personal favorites ;

Hello little dreamers, how do you do?
Hello little dreamers, is that you?
Hello little dreamers, is it coming through?
Hello little dreamers, what is really true?

‘There’s an unseen spirit
To an unseeing world
Divulges no secrets
Tells no lies
Falsifies no hopes
Shows no surprise’

Relates no illusions
Creates no fantasies
Controls no confusions
Consoles no pleas

Has no kneed
Greeds no gold
Needs no love
To cherish and hold

Feels no pain
Takes no chances
Doesn’t die to dream
The star light dances

Conjures no tricks
Takes no trips
Feels no burning desire
To kiss her quivering lips

Plays no game
Mentions no names
Blames nobody
But were all as guilty as hell

‘There’s an unseen spirit
To an unseeing world
Divulges no secrets
Tells no lies
Falsifies no hopes
Shows no surprise’

Nightmares in the young boys hart
I can’t stand the way you tease
Sobs of sorrow down the madhouse corridors
Because no one else believes
In the awareness of listening, you can hear the thieves

I would dance through the trees
Listen to her footsteps, kick the autumn leaves
Sense her soft breath
Blow the breeze
Feel her desire
Drive me to my knees
Echoes in the stormy mind
Set me free, please

‘There’s an unseen spirit
To an unseeing world
Divulges no secrets
Tells no lies
Falsifies no hopes
Shows no surprise’

In the dining room below
They eat and drink
Merrier and more
Than she can believe
Behind the doors of her room
Her soul heaves
With a fright she looks at the curtains
And the night breathes

Hello little dreamers, is that you?
Hello little dreamers, is it really true?
Hello little dreamers, Is there anything we can do?
Hello little dreamers...........
                                How are you?
#2May 26th, 2008 · 09:56 PM
373 posts
China
Hey Kings...
I'm kinda like you, don't know if some pieces are poems/prose/story or whatever...
I just call them words... You've got some nice words, they weave around nicely... some changes do abrupt the flow, tho'... 'Hello little dreamer' sounds more musical to me...
A little uneven but it's got nice feeling to it...
#3May 27th, 2008 · 11:41 AM
339 threads / 59 songs
4,328 posts
United Kingdom
jackfancy wrote…
Hey Kings...
I'm kinda like you, don't know if some pieces are poems/prose/story or whatever...
I just call them words... You've got some nice words, they weave around nicely... some changes do abrupt the flow, tho'... 'Hello little dreamer' sounds more musical to me...
A little uneven but it's got nice feeling to it...

As I said above I know how it should/could sound as a song , that does not mean it's all sung, I tried that and it doesn't work, like a lot of my stuff there are different angles and emotions and sometimes different views in one piece.
So I get what you mean by 'uneven' , I know it doesn't lyrically flow the same all the way through, but for me it has a bit of everything, a rap, a story, a poem and a song

Yea just words !!! 

Thanks a lot for the comment.
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