| The Actor |    |
Hey everybody I was wondering if I could get some feedback on this song I wrote (please watch the video, it gives the song another vibe! plus it took a lot of hard work haha):
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swogYqd_xb0
Lyrics:
Everyday I wear a mask
And play chess with kings and gnomes
Acting on stage, as if i knew my name
but deep down inside in the rabbit hole
Im lost in a maze
Its falling falling
I might be, insane
Im calling, calling
Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the actorx2
Ohhh
Everyday I accelarate
Not quite sure if i wanna crash
Its shining bright
But it burns my eyes
Name calling, start a fight
I'm not quite sure if its
Red or green
Boom its done
Im in the scene
Im screaming, im screaming
Can't rationalize
I'm bleeding, im bleeding
Someone save my life
Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the driver
Ohhh
Please show please show me
Who's the passenger
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swogYqd_xb0
Lyrics:
Everyday I wear a mask
And play chess with kings and gnomes
Acting on stage, as if i knew my name
but deep down inside in the rabbit hole
Im lost in a maze
Its falling falling
I might be, insane
Im calling, calling
Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the actorx2
Ohhh
Everyday I accelarate
Not quite sure if i wanna crash
Its shining bright
But it burns my eyes
Name calling, start a fight
I'm not quite sure if its
Red or green
Boom its done
Im in the scene
Im screaming, im screaming
Can't rationalize
I'm bleeding, im bleeding
Someone save my life
Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the driver
Ohhh
Please show please show me
Who's the passenger
Nice song, I watched the video (and commented)
Lyrical content kind of reflects on your ambitious attitude, which is surely a good thing, abstract imagery and stereotypes, looks like you are figuring things out on a large scale. Neat! I wonder where it will lead you.
Keep at it! And welcome to the Amp, hope you'll enjoy yourself!
Lyrical content kind of reflects on your ambitious attitude, which is surely a good thing, abstract imagery and stereotypes, looks like you are figuring things out on a large scale. Neat! I wonder where it will lead you.
Keep at it! And welcome to the Amp, hope you'll enjoy yourself!
You gotta good thing going here - you've got your own style and interpretation.
Go with it to the max and see where it takes you.
For acoustic stuff like this, less ambience is generally better, then it becomes more intimate - try it.
The video is great, but would have liked more in the frame, like you playing the guitar.
Go with it to the max and see where it takes you.
For acoustic stuff like this, less ambience is generally better, then it becomes more intimate - try it.
The video is great, but would have liked more in the frame, like you playing the guitar.
PuppetXeno wrote…
Nice song, I watched the video (and commented)
Lyrical content kind of reflects on your ambitious attitude, which is surely a good thing, abstract imagery and stereotypes, looks like you are figuring things out on a large scale. Neat! I wonder where it will lead you.
Keep at it! And welcome to the Amp, hope you'll enjoy yourself!
Thank you bro! I wrote this song sort of subconsciously, so perhaps I am figuring out things without even realizing. :p
Look forward to hearing from you, see ya!
| re: great song |
swordfish wrote…
howzabout being part of the community too!!
Denis wrote…
You gotta good thing going here - you've got your own style and interpretation.
Go with it to the max and see where it takes you.
For acoustic stuff like this, less ambience is generally better, then it becomes more intimate - try it.
The video is great, but would have liked more in the frame, like you playing the guitar.
Thank you Denis! I see what you mean. Perhaps I shall experiment with more clean, acoustic style mixes and still frame videos. Thank you once again, looking forward to hear more from you
Iszil wrote…
It doesn't sound bad I need a hook or something. I couldn't get a grip of the song. It might because of what Denis mentioned about the lack of intimacy due to the recording.
But it's still a good job.
Cheers.
> Ish
I see... Thank you for the constructive criticism. I'll try to construct more intimacy in my next rec. Cheers
Great song with catchy feel ,1 guitar 1 vox straight up way to go.
Really like your vocal dynamics & expression = engaging .
Re ambience intimacy ; myself heard this as live concert sound avec a bit of natural verb , tho the close mic presence may reveal another layer. Thanks for posting really enjoyed
Really like your vocal dynamics & expression = engaging .
Re ambience intimacy ; myself heard this as live concert sound avec a bit of natural verb , tho the close mic presence may reveal another layer. Thanks for posting really enjoyed
yokoinc wrote…
Great song with catchy feel ,1 guitar 1 vox straight up way to go.
Really like your vocal dynamics & expression = engaging .
Re ambience intimacy ; myself heard this as live concert sound avec a bit of natural verb , tho the close mic presence may reveal another layer. Thanks for posting really enjoyed
thank you so much. I recorded this in 2013, back then I was kinda addicted to throwing heaps of reverb everywhere, I guess everybody could notice haha. Once again thank you for your kind comments!
| Painting the picture |
I liked the melody of this song and you do have some strong lines and visuals. I would like to see a bridge or a more defined chorus to bring it all together and fully paint the picture for the listener. Good work and this could be a strong song for you. -B
| re: Painting the picture |
bnelly wrote…
I liked the melody of this song and you do have some strong lines and visuals. I would like to see a bridge or a more defined chorus to bring it all together and fully paint the picture for the listener. Good work and this could be a strong song for you. -B
you're so right about the chorus thing, as im producing this song I found it really hard to give it a climax because there wasnt a chorus, so i ended up turning into a progressive rock song and it climaxes at the solo, you know? thanks for the comment!
Nice track. Love the vocal style and the chord progression is fine.
Personally I'd like less reverb on the guitar and vocals.
However, you can always ride the reverb fader on the vocals when you drag notes out
I also imagined a massive tom roll and prog rock solo right at the end.
Good feel to the song, can tone it back for a intimate number, or expand and make a sweet rock song.
Personally I'd like less reverb on the guitar and vocals.
However, you can always ride the reverb fader on the vocals when you drag notes out
I also imagined a massive tom roll and prog rock solo right at the end.
Good feel to the song, can tone it back for a intimate number, or expand and make a sweet rock song.
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