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#1April 16th, 2015 · 10:26 PM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
The Actor
*

This song is not in a battle

Special HTML5 element:
Hey everybody  I was wondering if I could get some feedback on this song I wrote (please watch the video, it gives the song another vibe! plus it took a lot of hard work haha):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=swogYqd_xb0

Lyrics:

Everyday I wear a mask
And play chess with kings and gnomes
Acting on stage, as if i knew my name
but deep down inside in the rabbit hole
Im lost in a maze
Its falling falling
I might be, insane
Im calling, calling

Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the actorx2
Ohhh

Everyday I accelarate
Not quite sure if i wanna crash
Its shining bright
But it burns my eyes
Name calling, start a fight
I'm not quite sure if its
Red or green
Boom its done
Im in the scene

Im screaming, im screaming
Can't rationalize
I'm bleeding, im bleeding
Someone save my life
Help from above
Push from below
Please show please show me
Who's the driver
Ohhh
Please show please show me
Who's the passenger

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#2April 17th, 2015 · 01:41 PM
115 threads / 52 songs
3,045 posts
Netherlands
Nice song, I watched the video (and commented)

Lyrical content kind of reflects on your ambitious attitude, which is surely a good thing, abstract imagery and stereotypes, looks like you are figuring things out on a large scale. Neat! I wonder where it will lead you.

Keep at it! And welcome to the Amp, hope you'll enjoy yourself!
#3April 17th, 2015 · 02:46 PM
368 threads / 186 songs
3,306 posts
United Kingdom
You gotta good thing going here - you've got your own style and interpretation.
Go with it to the max and see where it takes you.
For acoustic stuff like this, less ambience is generally better, then it becomes more intimate - try it.

The video is great, but would have liked more in the frame, like you playing the guitar.
#4April 20th, 2015 · 05:46 PM
191 threads / 57 songs
2,234 posts
United Kingdom
great song
howzabout being part of the community too!!
#5April 22nd, 2015 · 11:51 AM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
PuppetXeno wrote…
Nice song, I watched the video (and commented)

Lyrical content kind of reflects on your ambitious attitude, which is surely a good thing, abstract imagery and stereotypes, looks like you are figuring things out on a large scale. Neat! I wonder where it will lead you.

Keep at it! And welcome to the Amp, hope you'll enjoy yourself!

Thank you bro! I wrote this song sort of subconsciously, so perhaps I am figuring out things without even realizing. :p

Look forward to hearing from you, see ya!
#6April 22nd, 2015 · 11:51 AM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
re: great song
swordfish wrote…
howzabout being part of the community too!!
thanks!
#7April 22nd, 2015 · 11:52 AM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
Denis wrote…
You gotta good thing going here - you've got your own style and interpretation.
Go with it to the max and see where it takes you.
For acoustic stuff like this, less ambience is generally better, then it becomes more intimate - try it.

The video is great, but would have liked more in the frame, like you playing the guitar.

Thank you Denis! I see what you mean. Perhaps I shall experiment with more clean, acoustic style mixes and still frame videos. Thank you once again, looking forward to hear more from you
#8April 22nd, 2015 · 06:35 PM
116 threads / 54 songs
1,531 posts
Chile
It doesn't sound bad but I need a hook or something. I couldn't get a grip of the song. It might because of what Denis mentioned about the lack of intimacy due to the recording.
But it's still a good job.

Cheers.

         > Ish
#9April 25th, 2015 · 01:39 PM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
Iszil wrote…
It doesn't sound bad I need a hook or something. I couldn't get a grip of the song. It might because of what Denis mentioned about the lack of intimacy due to the recording.
But it's still a good job.

Cheers.

         > Ish

I see... Thank you for the constructive criticism. I'll try to construct more intimacy in my next rec. Cheers
#10May 28th, 2015 · 06:27 PM
18 threads / 10 songs
493 posts
Japan
Great song with catchy feel ,1 guitar 1 vox straight up way to go.
Really like your  vocal dynamics & expression  = engaging .
Re ambience intimacy ; myself heard this as live concert sound avec a bit of natural verb  , tho the close mic presence may reveal another layer. Thanks for posting really enjoyed
#11May 29th, 2015 · 05:05 PM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
yokoinc wrote…
Great song with catchy feel ,1 guitar 1 vox straight up way to go.
Really like your  vocal dynamics & expression  = engaging .
Re ambience intimacy ; myself heard this as live concert sound avec a bit of natural verb  , tho the close mic presence may reveal another layer. Thanks for posting really enjoyed

thank you so much. I recorded this in 2013, back then I was kinda addicted to throwing heaps of reverb everywhere, I guess everybody could notice haha. Once again thank you for your kind comments!
#12June 9th, 2015 · 01:34 PM
2 threads / 2 songs
8 posts
United States of America
Painting the picture
I liked the melody of this song and you do have some strong lines and visuals.  I would like to see a bridge or a more defined chorus to bring it all together and fully paint the picture for the listener.  Good work and this could be a strong song for you.  -B
#13June 9th, 2015 · 05:49 PM
2 threads / 1 songs
13 posts
Brazil
re: Painting the picture
bnelly wrote…
I liked the melody of this song and you do have some strong lines and visuals.  I would like to see a bridge or a more defined chorus to bring it all together and fully paint the picture for the listener.  Good work and this could be a strong song for you.  -B

you're so right about the chorus thing, as im producing this song I found it really hard to give it a climax because there wasnt a chorus, so i ended up turning into a progressive rock song and it climaxes at the solo, you know? thanks for the comment!
#14June 12th, 2015 · 01:37 AM
9 threads / 9 songs
64 posts
Australia
Nice track. Love the vocal style and the chord progression is fine.

Personally I'd like less reverb on the guitar and vocals.

However, you can always ride the reverb fader on the vocals when you drag notes out

I also imagined a massive tom roll and prog rock solo right at the end.

Good feel to the song, can tone it back for a intimate number, or expand and make a sweet rock song.
#15August 4th, 2015 · 09:15 AM
339 threads / 59 songs
4,328 posts
United Kingdom
It's a girly song, it meanders and so does not have to be 'defined'.
Though it would become a stronger song if it were more defined, a chorus with a catchy hook, an upbeat instrumental part.
Nice piece of work, well done.
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