From my album Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Life
(album can be downloaded for free at plextonic.bandcamp.com)

Very very good
Love it even .... wonderful style
Vocal is too low and could be more up front .... because that's it's style ...
Could the 'talked' break in the middle not have some 'Psychedelic' effect on it ? Sounds to me like it could fit the flow and the story    ..... GuitarRig has an amazing tripped out effect that works well with vocals too.

A Warm Woolly Welcome to bandamp too ..... it's cold here, what's it like over there ?

I could see this being acted out at a theatre, it has that feel.

Drums need a bit of work, Bass guitar (I assume it's a guitar?) is boomy, I can help you deal with that. When you upload any new songs here, I'll help you get a better mix, or even the ones on your bandcamp album.

Welcome to the AMP

Wow! Very catchy! Great harmonies! Sounds like a good mix as well

Your voice sounds really warm in a way, which gives the song a soothing mood.
I would only point out that the drums are a bit weak in the playing; a bit out of beat (pun intended). I think they should sound tighter. Try to record them using a metronome.

Cheers.

          > Iz