#1September 30th, 2011 · 12:27 AM
32 threads / 28 songs
201 posts
United States of America
Dichotomy (in-progress)
*

This song is not in a battle


I have had 2-3 lines of lyrics in my head since earlier this week but I have not had the time to sit down and turn it into a song until after work today. Here's what I've come up with. Hoping for some feedback from fellow BandAmpers about the idea in general, as well as any recommendation about where to go next (the song ends rather suddenly).

It's not really mixed at all, so that type of criticism can perhaps wait at this point (unless something sounds really awful).

Lyrics (so far):

Just repeat what they say to me.
Assume I'll automatically agree.
And you expect I'll nod my head, or shut-up if I don't agree with.
We love inventing our dichotomies.
Who gives a shit about reality?
He who talks the loudest is considered right.

Again it goes, and again you downplay anything that doesn't work to your advantage.
Again it goes, and again you hide your true face.
Our concerns fade onto the second page.

Deny my credibility and tear me all to pieces.
I am all alone and I don't have the resources to play your games,
Or to debate this way.
Time is on your side.
You can weather this storm and be here long after I have blown away,
Starved or defeated by every day things.

Again it goes, and again you downplay what we say when it goes against your message.
Again it goes, and again you take everything.
Increase the gap that lies between us.

Don't pretend to sympathize when this is just the way you wanted things to be.
You talk out both sides of your mouth.
If you really wanted things to change, this would be over.
Shut up. Don't deny it. We know better.

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#2September 30th, 2011 · 04:25 AM
117 threads / 27 songs
1,057 posts
Germany
This is quite a sophisticated and energetic composition. Not generic. But extraordinary.
I can recognize many 70s influences -from gentle giant to early genesis or YES - reminding me to this age of rock music.
BTW, it also reminds me to Iszil´s recent album "Back to the seed"

Sure, this is an interim  mix - so I try to give an advice in due to the arrangement:
The parts when you´re singing falsetto in the chorus - Again it goes, and again you ....... would sound more sarurated when you gonna sing some layers on these parts. Also when you sing (shout) evil -considered right.

I love to see that you ´re not making music for "dumb-asses".    This is music one has to listen to -concentrated. It´s not ´passing-by-mainstream-stuff `.

Looking forward to V2........ Mk2.........next step of evolution................

U.L.I.
#3September 30th, 2011 · 06:24 PM
77 threads / 59 songs
920 posts
Netherlands
fun riff!
but a turbulant energetic one, ánd lots of lyrics in 2 minutes.., spit it out. blow me away!
maybe you could use a break or a rest somewhere, a musical intermezzo?
just kidding, you are gonna add another killer riff and a few 100 words and make an epic     cyclone out of this 
an intro would be so nice

btw.
that "(shout) evil -considered right",  aint convincing enough yet, you can do better i think
think you're holding back for the neighbours

need a rest now.., something classical soft and slow music
 
#4September 30th, 2011 · 06:47 PM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
Could do with an intro ... and an outro

Love the choruses.
Yes I must agree there's a lot of words going on on each line.
Your forgiven for the lack of 'evil' in your scream .... as you write it's a preliminary idea ... a very good preliminary idea I must say.

Keeping the chorus and simplifying the verses might hit the listener harder ... if your looking for a point of view.

Did someone not write on one of your other songs that you have a familiar voice but they could not place it ?
Maybe not ... it is in any case, and it's a good thing. Means your already there, you just have to be heard !

"something classical soft and slow music" lol ... keep on doing it what even you do   
#5September 30th, 2011 · 07:20 PM
77 threads / 59 songs
920 posts
Netherlands
i know he doesn't need me to point that out, i just like to say what i think of it
 
#6September 30th, 2011 · 09:23 PM
14 threads / 14 songs
232 posts
United States of America
You guys have really mastered that alternative rock sound between the used and coheed. Its nice.
#7September 30th, 2011 · 11:00 PM
32 threads / 28 songs
201 posts
United States of America
Wow, lots of positive feedback. Thanks so much.

@ULI: Thanks for the detailed suggestions mate. I just finished adding harmonies for the "again it goes" vocal part. I think your suggestion was right-on. Tried an angrier shout for the "considered right" bit but my throat was not having any of it tonight so I'll try again later.

@Max: lol, you're right. These are kind of fast-moving lyrics for me. But maybe it will come-off as catchy? XD

@Kings: Playing around with the idea of an intro but nothing's sticking yet. Definitely an outro though. This is not finished, I just kind of ran out of time/steam/energy/whatever. I think lately I've been trending towards trying to cram more and more (lyrics) into a smaller space. I really like how certain bands (with more than one vocalist) can pull it off, the back-and-forth. I think I need to get better at differentiating the two vocal parts for that to really work though. Maybe some different EQ or something.

@Dark: Thanks ^^ I'll pass your comment along to "the guys" lol (sorry, just me here, with a bad sense of humor to boot)
#8October 1st, 2011 · 11:11 AM
371 threads / 187 songs
3,384 posts
United Kingdom
kings wrote…
Could do with an intro ... and an outro

Love the choruses.
Yes I must agree there's a lot of words going on on each line.
Your forgiven for the lack of 'evil' in your scream .... as you write it's a preliminary idea ... a very good preliminary idea I must say.

Keeping the chorus and simplifying the verses might hit the listener harder ... if your looking for a point of view.

Did someone not write on one of your other songs that you have a familiar voice but they could not place it ?
Maybe not ... it is in any case, and it's a good thing. Means your already there, you just have to be heard !

"something classical soft and slow music" lol ... keep on doing it what even you do    :D

Sounds like 'theotherguy89' - Hmm not heard from him lately, he used to write loads??

Nice one again Brian, I think members have already said what I would have probably said.
Keep 'em coming 
#9October 1st, 2011 · 03:28 PM
340 threads / 59 songs
4,344 posts
United Kingdom
Denis wrote…
kings wrote…
Could do with an intro ... and an outro

Love the choruses.
Yes I must agree there's a lot of words going on on each line.
Your forgiven for the lack of 'evil' in your scream .... as you write it's a preliminary idea ... a very good preliminary idea I must say.

Keeping the chorus and simplifying the verses might hit the listener harder ... if your looking for a point of view.

Did someone not write on one of your other songs that you have a familiar voice but they could not place it ?
Maybe not ... it is in any case, and it's a good thing. Means your already there, you just have to be heard !

"something classical soft and slow music" lol ... keep on doing it what even you do    :D

Sounds like 'theotherguy89' - Hmm not heard from him lately, he used to write loads??

Nice one again Brian, I think members have already said what I would have probably said.
Keep 'em coming  ;)
Yes your right it was. How very observant of you Denis 
I can still apply it to our Brian here ... it must be his familiar old soul coming up with on the edge state of the arts stuff again.
#10October 2nd, 2011 · 04:12 PM
32 threads / 28 songs
201 posts
United States of America
Thanks Endless

Not so much holding back as struggling with sinus issues. That time of year I guess. I'll probably redo some spots once it clears up.
#11October 2nd, 2011 · 10:40 PM
18 threads / 18 songs
54 posts
Chile
interesting work with the guitars, i like the voice too, specially in the chorus.
congratulation.
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