This song is called Memory 1 and is the first track on (one of) our albums, its a new concept album idea I came up with so I wanted to run down and try to do demos of all the songs on it...so keep in mind this is a demo. My song "Forget" is also on this album (and its also a demo) and its around track 11. This is me on everything and Brie wrote all the lyrics except for the second half of the chorus. Let me know what you think!

also I have ZERO idea of how to play a harmonica but I picked one up the other day and thought I'd take a whack at it for a demo such as this.

Nice song, harmonica needs more rhythm and the vocal needs more zest, a bit more conviction and passion.
It's a bit lowly and self concious at the moment.
Even though the rhythm is out you get some nice sound towards the end between the guitar, harmonica and harmonics (12 string?)

You've got a nice vibe going here.
I would look at the arrangement again. There is no clear sign of the chorus?
The chorus should be different, the part where it lifts - at the moment it sounds like one large verse.

Have you tried singing it in a higher key - try your capo and see how it sounds, I think your vox will cut through better.

Practice the Harp a bit more - I'm sure you will get it sounding better - Keep it simple

yep maybe come out of ''talking'' it and try singing .......