#1March 31st, 2010 · 06:53 PM
15 threads / 15 songs
47 posts
United States of America
High Spirits
*
Please vote for this song !
Current votes: 4 (needs min. 15)
It’s in the battle 2010-05


Got some help with this one with my friend eric on drums. Its nice have a more full sound with them. Usually my songs dont have drums but amazing how much a difference it makes! Thanks EC!

When your tired of being tired,
looking with your head down.
You can use this, as a reminder.
Cast off all that makes you hinder.

Amazing, that such feeling,
can come over me and make me free.
Explode with infinite possibilities,
truly one lifetime is not enough.
Looking at reality with dreamer eyes,
this is your awakening!

You got some pep in your step,
people watch as you glide by.
With your head held so high,
your shiney soul will blind their eyes.
Looking at reality with dreamers sight,
this is your awakening.

Something divine built up inside,
so I thought I'd share it with all of you.

This mass burst of energy,
will echo throughout eternity!

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#2April 20th, 2010 · 09:05 PM
77 threads / 45 songs
2,296 posts
United States of America
.
This reminded me of a song by the Beatles in the beginning.. I can't think of the name of it right now.. I think your vocals could be a lil more up in the mix..other then that..I think its a decent effort

Nice rating
#3April 21st, 2010 · 12:02 AM
27 threads / 2 songs
179 posts
Canada
Pretty cool
On first listen I was thinking that the first part of the melody was depressing. But after listening again I realized it was purposeful.
I liked the transition between intro and the rest. It matched with the difference in the lyric.

I could not imagine it without the drums for sure.
The vox could be brought up in the first part a bit. The rest is begging for a baritone backup vocal to thicken it up a bit.

I noticed a couple spots that seemed to break the flow of the vocals. The first two lines flowed great...but the third line sounded more like mm hmm mm thi-is, as a reeeminder-er. Had to listen close to hear the lyric. That isn't the biggy though. What I am focused on is the 'thi-is' and 'reeeminder-er' I think to make it sounds similar to the last line of the song would be awesome. Dropping the extra syllables would tie that whole first verse together flow-wise. The rest of the song, mostly, had a great flow both lyrically and melodically.
Lyric suggestions:
Curious if you considered, 'Walking with your head down' vs 'Looking with your head down'.
And 'Look at reality' vs 'Looking at reality'
and 'Share it with you' vs 'Share it with all of you'
and 'through eternity' vs 'throughout eternity'
*These are basically to help with flow.

I hope you don't mind me picking a bit. I am a bit obsessive compulsive with lyrics lol.
I would not have taken a moment to write it if I didn't truly like the song. I think it has a good theme and is very well put together.
I like it alot!

Great work,
rated.
#4April 21st, 2010 · 01:18 AM
15 threads / 15 songs
47 posts
United States of America
thanks much for the feedback. I thought about redoing some of the vocals but after hearing it so many times it seems to fit and sounds finished but Im sure they can be tweaked some. Shortening some of the lyrics Im not quite sure. Had to say I was pretty proud of them. I sung  them in a different way than my usual comfort zone. Maybe better annunciation will do the trick. But I do like the idea of "walking with your head down" vs looking with your head down. Thanks for your thoughts.
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