I know it needs work but tell me what you think

sounds fine .........
just imagine it on your local radio station???
as a song it hangs well
production.....................????
well others can comment on that

bouncing fish

I think you should double-track guitar and spread to L and R. This would slightly compensate its low level. You really need someone to assist you on mixing. Song is nice, but at some points it's hard to listen just because of the mix.

Ooohh... the idea of the song is great, but the production...
Where do the drums come from? It's weird: I can't decide.. are they acoustic and recorded? Or played on drum pads? Because they sound like they are "recorded" very well but then no one mixed them. If they are MIDI, you should make use of your possibility to quantize them! They are off the beat a lot, which is really confusing... Oh, i got it! You played the drums on en electronic drum set and recorded them right from the drum computer, right? At least that's what it sounds like...they need a mix! Same with guitars and voice...

But beside the mix (which is spoiling a really good song, here), i like this piece. Cool idea to "turn" the voice into noise with some bad chorus effect (or whatever)...

Thanks for the comments/critiques. I do realize that the production is really off. Unfortunately I am lazy in that department. One of these days I would like take the time to make my songs more listenable.